We arenotgoing down this road.
I scold myself silently, fiercely.
Ethan smiles like he can read every thought on my face, and I have to fight not to groan. I need distance. Space. A wall. Anything.
I don’t want this.
Not with him.
Not with anyone.
I made peace with the idea that I’d be the best mom to Mia, find a quiet place in Lander, and rescue cats. That was the plan. Simple. Safe.
Ethan starts singing with Mia, loud, off-key, shameless. Grace joins in. Within minutes, they’re completely butchering“Jingle Bells,” so horrifically that I burst out laughing. Like, cheeks hurting, stomach aching laughing. And for a moment, for a small, bright slice of time, I forget.
I forget the door I’m supposed to keep shut.
I forget the promise I made myself.
I just… feel happy.
And that scares me more than anything.
We take a left turn and the field opens up, the setting sun casting gold over the evergreens. Mia sits up straight in her car seat.
“Mommy, look!” she gasps, pointing through the window as we roll to a stop.
Ethan hops out, opens my door, then goes to unbuckle Mia.
The second her boots hit the snow, she bolts toward Josh. He scoops her up and starts explaining every tree, teaching her what to look for and how to tell if it’s healthy.
He finally sets her down in front of the rows of evergreens. She scrunches her little nose, inspecting each tree with comical seriousness, and we all crack up.
Meanwhile Cas and Dex are still bickering, their voices echoing across the field, while Jude stands beside them, quiet, but smirking whenever one of them lands a good jab.
Penny walks over to Grace and me, rubbing her arms.
“Why did I choose the thinnest bra I own today? My nipples are freezing off!”
Grace spits her hot cocoa everywhere, and we dissolve into laughter.
I glance up, and find Ethan standing next to Mia. She’s examining a tree like she’s deciding whether to open Pandora’s box, but his eyes… they’re on me. That half-tilted smile of his sends a shiver down my spine that has nothing to do with the cold.
“This one! This one!” Mia suddenly shouts, pointing at a tall spruce.“It’s perfect!”
Josh kneels beside her.“Think so, sweetheart?”
She nods so hard her hat slides sideways.“It looks like Christmas.”
“Then it’s the one,” Josh says.
He leads her to it, Ethan close behind.
Cas and Jude haul the saw out of the truck and bring it over.
Ethan kneels beside Mia and whispers something to her as he steadies her small hands on the saw.
“Nice and easy,” he murmurs.
