His words land somewhere deep, not because I need his approval, but because he sees the part of me I’ve spent years trying to bury.
CHAPTER 9
Summer
The air smells like pine and cold earth, sharp and crisp. The Wyoming mountains rise around us, their white peaks glowing golden in the late afternoon sun. We’re all outside on the porch, winter coats on, scarves and hats, mittens, the whole winter bundle. Josh claps his hands, making all of us turn toward him.
“December first! Christmas officially starts. No tree, no Christmas!”
Mia squeals so hard she almost topples off the porch step. Penny clutches her thermos, cheeks pink from the cold, while Lily hands everyone hot chocolate, flour still dusting her apron.
“Be careful! And Cas, don’t wreck a truck this year.”
“Minor incident!” Cas shouts.
“Minor?” Dex counters, laughing.“You plowed through the snowbank!”
“A deer jumped in front of my truck!” Cas throws his arms up.
“The deer cameafteryou drove yourself into Mr. Marsley’s backyard snowbank and took his mailbox for a ride!” Dex hollers, earning a roar of laughter from everyone.
“At least I know not to use the freakin’brakes on ice.” Cas stands tall as if he’s defending his honor.
“I had no choice that time and you know it!” Dex shakes his head, and Cas just smirks like he absolutely loves the chaos.
“If you boys are done with the pissing contest, can we get a move on? I’m freezing my ass and tits off!” Grace groans dramatically.
“Grace Joanna Hawthorne, you watch your language or I’ll wash that mouth with soap!” Lily points a stern finger, trying, not very successfully, not to laugh while the rest of us burst out.
“All right, let’s get this Christmas started!” Josh calls, and we all move toward the trucks.
I climb into the middle truck with Ethan at the wheel. Mia is buckled into her princess car seat, humming“Jingle Bells” under her breath. Grace sits beside her, tapping her foot in rhythm. I place my hands neatly in my lap, pretending not to notice the warmth radiating from Ethan, or the steady brush of his arm as he turns the radio on.
Josh passes out walkie-talkies through the open window.“Tradition,” Ethan says when he catches my confused look.
“Every driver gets one so the bickering can start before we even reach the field.” He laughs, low and warm, and something inside me loosens despite my best intentions.
Static crackles.
“Walkie check, lead truck to convoy,” Josh calls as we follow him onto the road.
“Copy that, lead truck. Commander Cas reporting in!” Cas’s voice blares, way too loud.
Dex snorts.“Commander my ass. I’m taking first place this year.”
“Last year, you took the wrong turn and we ended up in the middle of nowhere,” Jude chimes from Josh’s truck.
I glance at Ethan. His grin is lazy, mischievous, devastating, and my stomach twists on itself.
He presses the walkie button, voice smooth and teasing.“I suggest I take the lead this year, seeing as you two can’t tell your asses from your faces.” He releases the button, then turns fully toward me.
“They’re just starting,” he murmurs, eyes locked on mine.
His are forest green, deep, warm, and suddenly I notice specks of light brown in them. When did I get close enough to see that?
I stiffen, panic flaring up.
Head out of the gutter now, Summer.
