“He wouldn’t let anyone see it, but you know he’s watched it.”
“I would if I were him.”
“Back to Mom.”
I folded my legs into easy pose—yes, I knew yoga—and closed my eyes. There was no way to meditate with Oleander here, unless he was doing it along with me.
“Okay, so we’re doing this instead,” he said.
Cracking open one eye, I saw him drag a pillow from where I’d tucked it against the wall. This wasn’t the first time we’d meditated together. Colleen was determined to keep us grounded, so she taught us a lot. At the time, I was bored out of my mind. Who would want to sit and meditate as a kid?
She didn’t push us further than we were willing to go. Meditation should be a pleasant experience.
Oleander opened his phone and pulled up what I knew would be a recording Colleen had done for us. Who needed an app when we had her? She went above and beyond in everything, not because she felt the need to prove herself or force her beliefs on us. She wanted us to become the best versions of ourselves. I couldn’t fault her for that. It was more than my family ever did for me.
When I was lost, scared, or wondering what the next day would bring, I’d thought of the family I had down the street. No, I didn’t tell Colleen and Davis what happened when I was young. It wasn’t until after I had moved out that I confessed what I’d been through. They held me as I cried, wiped my tears when I could breathe again, and told me their door was always open. The day they sold that house, they said the same of the new one. Their home was mine.
People would look at my past and pity me. Sure, I pitied myself too. No child should have to go through what I had. Butin that darkness, in those awful nights, Oleander had been my light. Later, his parents joined him. They made me feel warm, welcome, and like I belonged.
“What do you want to listen to?” he asked. “There’s the subliminal, guided meditation, soft music, bells… You know the drill. The list is never-ending.”
“The one where she talks about courage and being who we’re meant to be.”
“That’s a good one.”
We’d played it numerous times before. If we knew Jordan was getting into some heavy shit, where our lives would be on the line, the meditation could get us in the right headspace. Unfortunately, there wasn’t always time to meditate. When there was, Oleander and I would sit and relax while we listened to his mom’s voice lift us up.
He hit play, and I let go. I didn’t think about Forest and what he’d said to me. Jordan and what the next job would bring were in the distance. This was about me reminding myself who I was. If more people meditated and discovered the peace that was within them, the world might be a better place.
Neither of us spoke as we each were in our spaces, our minds drifting to where they would, our heart rates slowing as we let her words sink in. She’d known I needed this.
As it came to an end fifteen minutes later, I opened my eyes to find Oleander watching me with a soft smile.
“Better?” he asked.
“I won’t ever be able to repay you for all you’ve done for me, or your parents.”
“Shel, you don’t realize it, but you do a lot for us too. Just being in your presence is enough.”
“It’s because I’m so pleasant to be around, isn’t it? My charming personality is irresistible.”
“And you’re back. That was sweet for ten seconds.”
Grinning, I said, “I wouldn’t want to get a reputation as being soft like Jordan claims he is. I have to keep everyone scared of me.”
“Except me.”
“Never you.”
Maybe in another life, Oleander and I could have been in a romantic relationship. In this one, we’d tried it once, and it was awful; I almost lost my best friend. We decided never to do that again because what we had wasn’t replaceable. Not everyone got a friend like we did. That was years ago. I had zero attraction to him now. Apparently, I had my eye on a man who considered me a friend and may have been hurt because I backed away from him.
Usually, I was on my game. I had to be working for Jordan. With Forest, I could hardly keep it together.
8
FOREST
“This isn’t going to work, is it?” I glanced at my slacks and button-down. There was no way to know how I should dress for the interview. I still couldn’t believe I’d gotten one, given I had zero experience working with cars. And yes, I knew I wouldn’t be doing that.
