I sighed and took a seat on the floor. I had the round cushion I sat on to meditate. It wasn’t odd that I enjoyed doing so. Look at who I was on the phone with. What was out of the norm was I did so in a room full of deadly liquids. To each their own and all that.
“I’m not sure what to do,” I told her. “Just when I think I’m making progress, he calls me a friend.”
“What did you do after he said it?”
“I put distance between us and told him he should go to bed.”
“How do you think that made him feel? He’d just called you his friend, and you acted like you wanted nothing to do with him.”
“Fuck.”
“Mmhmm. You can’t get to know someone better, to have them trust you, when you put up walls and shield yourself from them.”
Now that I thought about it, I had to have hurt him by doing what I did. I acted like the word scared me off, without him understanding the reason why; it probably appeared as if I didn’t even want to be that to him.
Just when I felt like I was climbing out of that pit, my foot slipped and I was dragged in deeper. Not a pit of depression. Been there, done that. I wasn’t depressed. I was tired of warring with myself. Push and pull daily.
“I need to talk to him.”
A chuckle came over the phone. “That would help.”
“Is there anything else I should know?” According to her, she couldn’t see the future, but she did see me sometimes in it. I could change it, apparently. Every one of my actions could alter my path.
“You should meditate more. Your guides would love to speak to you.”
“Uh huh. I have enough to deal with in therapy. I don’t need to add spirit guides to the equation.”
“With the right therapist, they’d understand.”
“Shel?” Oleander called into my apartment. I hadn’t heard the door open. The conversation with Colleen sucked me in. I should have been paying better attention to my surroundings.
“In here.”
Oleander rounded the corner and saw me on the floor on the meditation pillow. Then he noticed the phone. “Morning, Mom.”
“Ollie, good morning. Did you sleep well?”
“Always.” He could sleep through almost anything. It was good for him, so he was rested. It was bad for those of us who worked for Jordan when we needed him. I’d woken Oleander up more times than I could count.
“You two take care of each other. Watch your backs.”
“Will do.”
“Meditate, Sheldon.”
“Yup,” I replied.
Oleander hit the button to end the call. “What happened to make her call?” This was the first time I’d seen my best friend since I’d parted ways with Forest. “You know, outside of the snake incident?” He couldn’t keep the corners of his lips from lifting.
“Is that what we’re calling it now?” I wouldn’t live this down for a long time. The guards in the building had excellent memories. Given how I was one of them and remembered what happened to them, it was only fair for them to dish it back to me.
“You ran from a snake. What did you think would happen?”
“It wasn’t my best moment.”
He crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway, a smile teasing his lips. “I tried to get Barry to show me the video.”
I couldn’t help but return his smile. “That doesn’t surprise me.”
