Banner groans. “He has socks older than you.”
“You know what they say about guys with big socks?”
“Katy…” Banner warns her.
“They wear big shoes.” She smirks. “Trust me. I have no interest in your friends, Banner. That doesn’t mean I don’t have eyeballs, though. I can look without touching.”
“Be a travesty not to,” Matilda agrees.
“Seriously, we need a calendar,” Callie mutters
Blake curses, “Woman.”
A server comes over to take our orders. Arlo slips his T-shirt back on, his eyes on the girl with interest, but she’s oblivious to him. Or at least that’s what I assume until I realize she’s looking at everyone but him. When she takes his order, her hands shake as she writes it down. When she’s taken them all, she scurries away with her head down, so I don’t get to take her in much. From what I did see, I can tell she’s pretty. And young.
“So what happens now—with the case, I mean? I’m so lost.” Matilda sighs, reaching for the bread basket.
“The jury will deliberate tomorrow, and if they’re found guilty, they’ll be sentenced. Olivia has already filed motions with the appeals court regarding Sorrow’s conviction, but these things take time,” Banner answers for me.
“What do we do until then?” Katy frowns, likely just realizing how slow the wheels of justice turn.
“Simple. We wait.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
BANNER
I stare at my girl as she stands at the podium, her hands shaking slightly as she reads from the paper in her hands. I thought I was ready to hear her victim’s impact statement. But the second she opens her mouth, after how much she’s overcome to even be able to say these words out loud, has me choking around the ball of emotion lodged in my throat.
“I’m not mad at you.” She looks at my mother, her face showing pain and regret. “I wasn’t then either. I understand why you did what you did. It seems strange hearing that from me, I’m sure. After all, what would I know about a mother’s love when mine had none for me?” She swallows, but she doesn’t look away.
My mother glances around the room, her eyes glassy, her face pale as the reality of her situation presses in on her.
“I learned what a mother’s love was from you. I saw how Alec was your entire world. He never doubted for a second how you felt for him. I never had that, but I envied him for it in the worst way. But mothers are never infallible. Sometimes, that love twists in ways we could never have predicted. I never knewI wanted to be a mother until that choice was taken from me. By the time I realized I loved her, she was lost to me, and I’d only known her for the smallest time, not the monumental moments you had with Alec.
“That was my shame to bear. That she died, not knowing how I felt about her. Alec died knowing you loved him. I don’t know if that was a blessing or a curse, knowing what I do now. When Katy and Jake die, will they be able to say the same?”
My mother breaks down and sobs, allowing my father to pull her into his arms. Sorrow clears her throat and continues.
“Something changed in Alec, or perhaps it was always there, and we never noticed it until it grew too big to contain. You tried to love him better, but Alec didn’t recognize that he was sick. And that’s where you failed, not just with him but also with Katy and me. If you’d got him help instead of hiding his sins, maybe all three of us would have had a different story to tell today.
“You are not to blame for Alec’s actions. You didn’t raise bad kids. Katy and Jake are two of the best humans I know. Alec was just broken.
“You might not be to blame for his actions, but you are to blame for yours. It was you who let a little girl become a prisoner in her own home—you who pretended that your son’s violent outbursts and threats were nothing to worry about. I did realize something, though, after Katy took the stand. In a twisted sort of way, you thought you were helping Katy by keeping him focused on me. That’s why you let him date a girl like me. Someone expendable. Someone nobody cared about.
“Where Katy felt shame for her actions, something she shouldn’t have felt in the first place, you felt relief and entitlement. You offered me up to your son like a chew toy just to distract him from your daughter.
“And now your son is dead. Your grandchild is dead.
“I have to ask, was it worth it? Does your pride keep you warm at night?”
I don’t try to hide my tears. I can’t remember the last time I cried. Fuck, I don’t think I even cried at Alec’s funeral. But something about Sorrow’s words cuts through all the bullshit.
They could have stopped this from happening. They might not have had the power to fix him, but they could have put barriers in his way. They could have gotten him help, some therapy and counseling, maybe a stay in a rehab center for people with issues just like Alec. At the very least, they could have moved him out of the home so that Katy was safe and warned Sorrow of the danger Alec posed to her. Alec might have been the one to watch Sorrow burn, but Mom and Dad were the ones with gasoline.
“I hope you learn from this,” Sorrow continues. “I hope you realize what you’ve lost and find a way to make peace with it all, if not for yourself, then for Katy and Jake, because they deserve it. I’msorry you lost Alec, but you lost him long before that night, and I’m tired of being blamed for Alec’s choices and your failings.”
Her eyes drift closed for a moment as she centers herself. They open once more, her gaze going to my distraught parents.
