“Sounds ominous. Who is this guy?”
“Not sure anyone really knows who King is. He’s a jack of all trades and the master of them all, and he’ll make sure it’s done quickly. I don’t want this hanging over our town for years to come.”
“Amen to that.”
“Alright, just wanted to keep you in the loop, and Olivia says to tell you that she’s pushing full steam ahead.”
“Tell her I’m glad Sorrow has Olivia in her corner.”
“Will do. Get some rest.”
He hangs up. I get back to my feet and plug my cell phone in with the cable on the kitchen counter. I grab a glass from the drainer and fill it with water, drinking half of it down before a gut-wrenching scream echoes into the night.
The glass slips from my hand and shatters on the floor.
“Sorrow.”
Running up the stairs, I take them two at a time as I sprint for Sorrow’s room. I throw the door open and freeze at the sight before me.
Chapter Twenty-Three
SORROW
I wake up with a start, knowing instinctively that I’m not where I was when I fell asleep and that I’m alone. My body is slick with sweat as the remnants of the nightmare cling to my skin. I sit up, realizing belatedly that I’m in bed, and slowly open my eyes.
I take in the faded walls and the shelves lined with my favorite books, the chair in the corner with clothes laid out upon it that would never be worn, and the stuffed teddies at the foot of the bed that face me with their hollow eyes. Eyes that are haunted by what they saw that night. My chest pulls tight as I struggle to breathe, my vision fading in and out as panic floods through me. My eyes drift to the beige carpet and then to the large, rust-colored stain that has faded over time. A sharp pain shoots through my stomach, an echo of that god-awful night making me gasp in agony. No, no, God no. My mind is spinning around and around until I open my mouth and scream.
I scream a scream that’s filled with every inch of horror, fear, and self-loathing that I feel. I scream until my voice gives out, and there is no air left in my lungs. The bedroom door slams open, but I don’t take my eyes away from the red that marksmore than my threadbare carpet—it stains my soul. I’m wrapped up in strong arms, but my fractured mind can’t separate the here and now from the night when another set of arms held me down before they rained down punches and kicks upon my already weakened body.
I thrash and whimper, trying desperately to get free, but the arms don’t budge. But instead of hitting, they stroke. Instead of restricting me, they soothe. I soon realize that I’m cradled in Banner’s arms, being rocked gently from side to side. His words slowly penetrate my brain, calming me enough to suck in lungfuls of air before I wrap my arms around his neck and sob into his shoulder.
“Please come back to me, Sorrow. Please, please, please.” I hear Banner’s whispered plea. I lift my head, which feels too heavy for me to hold up, and look into his tortured eyes. I feel him wrap the quilt tightly around me, cocooning me within, fighting back the chill that had begun to set in. I turn my head back to the spot on the floor and feel the chains of my self-imposed prison snap.
“I was sick.” My voice is scratchy from screaming, as well as from years of disuse. He freezes, then looks at me with a mix of relief and trepidation. He knows my words are going to hurt him as much as they will me. But it’s time. There can be no future for us while the ghosts of our pasts haunt us.
“I thought it was the flu, but I couldn’t shake it, so I went to the doctor.” I take a deep breath, which hitches painfully in my chest. “Alec was so mad, he said it was all my fault and that I was trying to ruin his life. He just kept kicking me over and over, telling me he would fix everything.”
Banner uses the pad of his thumb to wipe away my tears, but it’s a losing battle.
I look over at the spot on the floor that stopped me from setting foot in this room until now and sob out the truth I hid from the world.
“I lost my baby right there. I tried so hard to fight, to will them to hold on as I dragged myself down the stairs to the car. I knew I needed the hospital. It was all I cared about. I thought Alec had passed out, but he chased me down and jumped in the passenger seat as I drove off. He wouldn’t stop screaming at me to pull over, but I had to get to the hospital. It was the only chance my baby had of making it. When he realized I wasn’t going to listen, he yanked the wheel. I don’t remember much else after we hit the tree. I smashed my head on the window and kept fading in and out.
“Alec was gone, but I was trapped by the seat belt. I could feel myself bleeding, but I couldn’t move. I knew it was too late. When I woke up in the hospital, they told me Alec was dead and my baby was gone too.”
I look up at Banner and see tears coursing down his face. I lift a shaky hand and cup his jaw. “I was so ashamed. It was all my fault. If I had left him at the start, then none of this would have happened. I vowed to myself that I would keep it a secret to protect you, Katy, your mom, and your dad. You had all lost enough. What good could come from finding out the truth? I took your anger and theirs because I felt like I deserved it. A part of me still does.”
“None of this is your fault. Do you hear me, Sorrow? Not a single thing that happened was your fault. I’m so fucking sorry that I wasn’t here to protect you, that I ran away like a coward. If anything, the blame lies with me.”
I shake my head. “No, Banner. The person to blame was Alec, but he’s gone now. He paid the ultimate price. I just—” My voice breaks as I struggle to find the right words.
“Just what, Sorrow?”
“I just want someone else to know about them other than me. I want someone else to know how important they were and how much I loved them. I was gonna be such a good mom, Banner, I swear it. I was going to shower them with so much love that they would never go a day feeling lonely or unwanted.” The tears break free again, stealing my ability to speak.
Banner holds me tighter. Mourning the loss of his niece or nephew. When we are both cried out, he picks me up gently and carries me downstairs and sits on the sofa with me in his lap. I burrow into him, feeling weak but lighter than before.
“What happens now?” I ask, scared that this will be more than he can take. He doesn’t answer right away.
