Patrick nods then goes the door and brings back the pizza.
“I don’t want that either, but I don’t want to push you.”
“You’re not. I’m ready.” I give him what I hope is a confident smile.
“Let’s eat, then.”
He places the pizza on the coffee table and opens the box.
I burst out laughing. It’s half meat lovers—his favourite—and half chicken—mine.
“Much better than that awful steak.” He picks up a piece, the cheese stretching as he wraps it around the end of the slice.
I grab a slice of the chicken. “You’ll get better at it. Give it time. We should have used the barbecue.”
Patrick snickers. “I should have thought of that in the first place.”
Taking a bite, I let out a long moan. “Oh God, this is so good.”
“Cass, you’re not supposed to make me hard until I’m ready for it.”
I stare at him. “What do you mean?”
“The way you moaned over that piece of pizza. I’m not sure I can handle that.”
I laugh, and it eases the tension in me. I’m terrified at the idea of having sex, but I want to. I want to be with Patrick. I want him to be my first and my only.
It makes me feel better that we’ll be experiencing this for the first time together. Maybe it would help if one of us knew what we were doing, but we’re smart enough to work it out.
All I know is that I really do love him.
7
CASSIE
My legs are shaking as I make my way up the stairs to Patrick’s room.
So many things are churning around in my head.
I know he’ll understand if I change my mind. I know he’ll be patient because it’s just who he is.
Even if we get things wrong, we’ll be together.
“So, this is my bedroom.” He’s so cute when he’s flustered.
“I’ve only been in here about a million times.” I look around. Nothing’s changed too much in here. When we were kids, he had posters of comic book characters and they’re gone. But the room is still decorated the same, and he has all the same furniture except for the bed.
He used to have a single bed on the corner, and now he’s got a queen size.
I sit on the side of the bed. Patrick walks toward me until he’s standing between my thighs, his hands cupping my face.
“Whatever happens, I want you to know that any time if you change your mind, we’ll stop.”
I nod. “That goes for you too.”
“I’m not changing my mind. This has been in my head all summer. I love you, and you drive me crazy. And I want everything with you.” He steps back and slips his shirt over his head.
All I can do is stare.
