I try to fight against my bonds. “You didn’t answer my questions.”
“I wouldn’t worry about Allesandro, if I were you. He is…being taken care of until the Council is able to decide what to do with him. I have three days to do the same to you.” He moves in close once again, whispering in my ear, “If I were you, I’d be more concerned with the fact your son might be orphaned, if your ex doesn’t pull through his surgery.”
With that, he straightens up and leaves me alone.
The lights turn off, and the distinctive click of the AC turning on is loud in my ears, before the speakers overhead turn on, and loud, headache-inducing music is played.
Everything registers distantly, though. Part of my brain is aware of all this happening, while the rest of me sits in cold disbelief.
Carter… If what Tennant says is true…there’s a very real chance I might lose my husband. And despite it all, the pain he put me through when he gave me back his ring, and the nauseating anger I have over the thought of Marcus and Keegan touching him, none of it has dimmed my love for him.
He can’t…he’s not allowed to leave me. Not after everything. It can’t just end like this…
Growling, I pace the corridor. Fucking hell. It feels like every vein in my body is alight with fire. When Benjamin comes out the door of his bedroom, I practically tackle him. With anoomphhe puts his arms around me, hugging me close.
He then gently pushes me back, studying me. “What’s going on?”
I shrug one shoulder, unsure of what to say. Fuck knows none of the thoughts and feelings inside me make any sense. Frowning, he grasps my wrist and pulls me into his room. He waves at me to start speaking, but I pace around his room instead.
Surprisingly, he’s already managed to make it homey. He’s brought in decorations, his gaming system, and hell, there’s evena framed picture of us on his bookstand.When the fuck did he manage that?
“I’m getting older here…” I cringe at his impatience, but simply throw him an exasperated glance over my shoulder as I pick up the frame. With a heavy sigh, I bring it over to his bed and sit down, tracing our faces with my finger.
I’m not a fan of having my picture taken, but he managed to make me smile. With that in mind, I lay it down beside me and pat the other side. I keep my eyes averted from him as he joins me.
He leans into me, saying, “Come on. Whatever it is, we can deal with it.”
“It’s… Fuck. Why is this shit so difficult? It’s your area.” I scowl at the floor, pissed that I can’t figure out what to say.
The silence stretches on between us before he suddenly throws his head back, laughing. “Are…are you trying to talk aboutfeelings? Checking in with me?”
I sigh in relief. “Yes. That. Especially since the whole Tennant thing.”
He snorts as he adjusts himself on the bed so he’s facing me more head-on. “What Tennant thing?”
“Seriously?” I roll my eyes at him. “We didn’t talk about Ten being there for me when I fell apart, or the possibility of him and I being, uh, more.”
Benjamin makes a face, but quickly smothers it. He waves a hand between us and says, “You and I, we’re best friends. And I want you to have what you need. You’re finally seeing why I love Tennant so much. Now, if you interfere with that love, I’ll stab you, but if you can respect the fact he’s mine, then I…I can share him with you.”
I watch him carefully, knowing he’s not joking about stabbing me. “I don’t want to have feelings for him. You knowthat, right? I want my Master and Daddy back. Tennant…he feels like a Daddy to me, though.”
I drop my gaze, staring at my hands as I blush. Fuck, this shit is hard. Benjamin chuckles and I manage to look up at him. “To be honest, that makes me feel better. I'm not sure I see him as a Daddy, but fuck, if that’s what he can be to you, then I’m happy my love can help you. He’s certainly far more healthy than your previous Daddy.”
Relief courses through me, but I’m still on guard with Benjamin. “Are you sure? I mean, you hate sharing me with Roman, and that’s just as friends.”
“Fucking Roman,” he mutters. “You’re my best friend. Friendship rules exist for a reason.”
I cover my mouth, trying to hide my smile. My best friend is a possessive asshole at times, but damn if that doesn’t feel good. Clearing my throat, I ask, “Is that why you claimed him? To help with the jealousy?”
Benjamin shakes his head, sneering. “Fuck, no. I claimed him because his father is an asshole and he needed someone to claim him. Cristian can’t have him. He’s mine now.”
I scratch my head, unsure of what to say. I mean…telling him he can’t be a father to someone who is close to the same age as him probably wouldn’t go well, right? Finally, I shrug. “I agree, Cristian doesn’t deserve Roman. But…are you alright with the whole poly situation?”
This time it’s Benjamin who breaks our connection, choosing instead to pick at the comforter. He’s quiet for so long, I’m not sure if he’ll even answer. When he finally does, my heart hurts for him. “No. I mean…I get him and Hollis. I have zero desire to dominate Tennant. And hell, if you need a Daddy, and Tennant can give you that, fine. Especially since you’re my best friend—another part of me even. But Roman and Jude? That’s…that’s astruggle. I don’t understand why he would want me when he has them.
“And it’s not like it was with Ignacio. It’s not the Martelli way of sharing. There are actual feelings involved here. And…fuck. I’m trying. I really am. I’ll accept it because I have to, because he’s worth the pain, but I hate it. So fucking much.”
A tear rolls down Benjamin’s cheek and I open my arms, accepting his weight and warmth as he shivers against me, struggling against feelings that are too complex, too confusing for him. I want to help him, but if Tennant hasn’t been able to reach him, fuck knows if I can. Still, I need to try.
