I hesitate and Roman steps in even closer, pulling out a knife and holding it to my bare stomach.
“Shall I show you what it’s like to be gutted?”
“Go ahead,” I reply softly. “Do what you must, but please…make it quick, for your own sake.”
Pain rips through me as Roman slashes me with the knife. He doesn’t go deep enough to gut me, but he cuts me from hip to hip, making me bleed.
“Do not act like you know what’s best for me,” he hisses. “That’s what got you into this mess in the first place.”
“I’m sorry, Roman,” I cry, exposing my weakness to him. It’s always been him. Roman…my greatest accomplishment, my biggest weakness.
The man who stands in front of me now, with his bloodied knife and pain in his eyes, is someone any father would be proud to call his son.
Too bad I don’t deserve him.
“I love you, Figlio Mio. I’m so fucking proud of you.”
“I. Don’t. Care.” He slices me again, this time leaving a stinging, bleeding wound down the center of my chest. “I should cut out your heart, because that’s what you did to me and Dad. But…I’m a better leader than you will ever be. So, as much as I want to take revenge, my Ignacio is far too understanding and forgiving. My dad still loves you, even if I’m hoping he’ll give me a brother soon, via a pair of new stepdads who deserve him far more than you ever will.
“For those reasons alone, I’ll let you live. Because you deserve to see me and Dad move on fromyou. I forgive you because you’re my father, and you did what you thought was right. But I don’t trust you because I’m a Boss and I need to protect those who entrust me with their safety. Know this: I will not hesitate to take you out should you ever hurt my dad again.”
“Kill me…” I beg him. “Please, Roman. You don’t want to do this. Don’t make it harder on yourself.”
He smiles. “I’m fine. I have my lovers and my dad to help me through it. You? You’ll have nothing but your regrets. I hope you choke on them.”
With that, he spins on his heel, makes his way to Tennant for one last kiss and a murmured conversation that I don’t have the strength to try to eavesdrop on, and then leaves the room.
Tennant lowers the hook and I collapse, all my strength sapped from me. The noose around my neck chokes me, and I see spots for a moment before Ten cuts me loose. Coughing, I stare at the concrete floor as I catch my breath, even if I wish he would have let me die.
Death would be so much better than the utter devastation currently coursing through me. But that’s the point, isn’t it?
Roman did what he sought out to do. He destroyed me with a few carefully placed words. His soft heart hides the viper behind it, and I couldn’t be prouder. He’s everything I hoped for him to be…and I almost broke him.
Tennant stands in front of me and I lift my head to meet his gaze. “I will never understand that boy,” he says softly. “He is so much more forgiving than you deserve.”
“Yes,” I agree. We both know that Roman may be willing to let me live for now, but that doesn’t mean he’ll ever forget my betrayal. The boy can hold a grudge like no other, and he meant what he said. He wants me to watch as he and Carter live happy lives…without me.
It’s a fate worse than death, and one I rightfully deserve.
Ithrow the ball for Midas, trying to put everything into perspective. Somehow, someone is going to need to tell Lio about Allesandro’s mental state. For some reason, everyone thinks that should be me. What the fuck do they think will happen if I do it? He’s going to fall to pieces, and there’s no way I can put him back together again.I should have just killed Il Padrone on the way out…
“That’s where you are,” Keegan calls out. I turn toward him as he zips up his coat. “I was beginning to wonder if I’d find you.”
Grunting, I wait for him to join me in the yard, even as I bend down to take the ball from Midas again. Throwing it, I sigh. “If you’re here to convince me that I’m the one who should talk to Lio about how Allesandro is doing, don’t waste your breath.”
“No. That wasn’t my plan,” he says slowly. “I’m actually here because you’re the Martelli Second. I’ve already spoken to Jude,and I wanted to make sure everything is working in coordination with each other, as I’m acting as Carter’s Voice for now.”
“Oh.” I blink at him, coloring slightly. “That…makes sense. Was there something specific you wanted to know, or just a general picture?”
“Actually…let’s circle back to that. I’m curious now. You and Lio have always been close. At least, until you became the official Second. I thought you guys made up though. What’s going on?”
Wrinkling my nose, I turn away from Keegan and focus on Midas. Unfortunately, ignoring him doesn’t seem to work, as he stays next to me without saying a word. Throwing the ball again for Midas, I side-eye Keegan, before giving in. “It’s not that we’re…look, it’s complicated. I would have thought you’d understand. You hated sharing Marcus, but now you’re suddenly in a relationship with Marcus and Carter. And sure, Lio is my friend, but I don’t want to share Tennant with him.”
He runs his fingers through his hair before grabbing me by the shoulder and turning me to face him directly. “That’s what this bullshit is about? Jesus. You got into a relationship with someone who is poly. Fucking hell. You can’t just snap your fingers and be all“this doesn’t work for me”.
“Not to mention, Lio would rather cut off his arm than hurt you. And there’s a difference between Allesandro and the sharing shit he did, versus the way Carter, Marcus, and I are working toward an actual relationship—hopefully. That means we all are valid, we all have feelings.
“Look, poly isn’t easy. But are you really expecting Tennant to…what? Choose you over everyone else?”
