I was reluctant to be away from him, to stop touching him for a second. When his hands were on me or mine on him, I felt the deepest sense of peace. I’d never had that before, that warmth, that security. Knowing I didn’t have to be on edge or alert, that he was there to do that for me.
When he left me in that room alone, unease crept beneath my skin.
I’d forgotten to leave again.
I was supposed to have left. That was my opportunity to get away.
And go where?a tiny voice whispered in my head.
I ignored it.
I could leave tomorrow. He was going to take my muzzle and collar off now. And maybe we would do things like we’ddone back at the river again. That had been…amazing. Now I understood why the hounds were always fucking.
But that had felt like more. It felt different than what I’d watched the hounds do. Deeper. I didn’t know how to describe it, but I did know that I wanted to feel that way again.
With Cain.
I couldn’t tell myself he was tricking me anymore. And if he was, then I deserved whatever fate had in store for me.
I couldn’t lie to myself anymore, either. I didn’t want to leave. Ilikedbeing here. I likedhim.
Cain walked into the room with a small cloth slung over his shoulder, a long metal box in one hand and a bowl of water in the other.
I couldn’t breathe.
“Okay, I’ve got everything. You ready?”
He smiled at me, those deep dents appearing. But as he moved closer, an uncomfortable knot tightened in my chest.
If he took these things off me, I’d hurt him. After all, they were put on for a reason.
I was dangerous. And I could hurt him. No, I already had. Worse, I could kill him.
I’d never cared about hurting anyone before because everyone I’d ever tried to bite or scratch or maim deserved it in some way. I’d only ever known bad people; I refused to harm the only good person in my life.
I watched him carry the box over to me, and the contents inside rattled when he set it down. I jumped when he flipped it open with a loudclick.
I was shaking, and I sat on my hands to try and hide the worst of it, but when Cain’s gaze drifted over me, he noticed immediately.
He set down his tools and kneeled between my legs, resting his big hands on my thighs, looking at me with soft eyes. Kindeyes. The only eyes I ever wanted on me. “What’s the matter? Why are you scared?”
Even kneeling, he was tall. But I didn’t find his size intimidating, not at all. It was only reassuring. It made me feel safe, like he’d use it to protect me, never to hurt me.
“I—you can’t take it off,” I rushed out, hoping he didn’t hear the tremor in my voice. “It’s—you just can’t.” I tried to hop down, to run out of the room, but he kept me firmly in place with his hands on my thighs.
“Bowen. Hey, it’s okay. Don’t run away, tell me what’s wrong. Why are you afraid right now?”
He started moving his thumbs in soothing little circles over my trembling thighs, keeping those dark eyes fixed on mine.
“Because I’ll hurt you if you take it off! I’ll hurt you and I don’t want to hurt you, Cain, I don’t—I can’t?—”
He framed my face with his big, warm hands. “Slow down. Take a breath.” He breathed in deeply, nodding at me to do the same. I grabbed onto his wrists as I sucked in a wheezing breath.
I just needed to touch him. I needed to touch him, to keep touching him, I needed?—
“Good. In and out. Just breathe and listen to me, okay?”
I breathed and stared into his eyes, nodding.
