It was horrible being in love with someone when you were keeping a massive secret from them. It had strained my relationship with Sophie and had left me unable to even contemplate how Felix and I could build a future together.
I’d justified it thinking Felix only wanted a friends-with-benefits arrangement, that someone as forthright as him would let me know if he wanted more.
I had no idea he was interpreting my behavior as not thinking he was worthy of a long-term relationship because of his scars. And I hate that I inadvertently made this man, even for a second, think he didn’t deserve everything.
Hopefully, the last two years have convinced him exactly how much I love him.
Because it’s been two years full of laughter and lazy Sunday mornings in bed. Felix graduated and got his dream job working in one of Deborah’s clinics, and now I help people in my job, he helps animals in his, and we know that, at the end of a long day, we will always have someone to talk to.
I try to sum up some of this now as I say my vows. “Felix, you crashed into my life twice. Once literally, and once dressed as Yoda. And you changed my entire life.
“You are the bravest, most brilliant, and most beautiful man I’ve ever met, and you’ve taught me so much about life and love that I will never be able to repay you. I promise to bake you brownies whenever you need them, to pretend I don’t notice when you steal my hoodies, and to love you through every adventure we go through together.”
Felix wipes his eyes dramatically. “Okay, you win. Your vows were better.”
“I don’t think it’s a competition,” I tell him.
“Okay, maybe not.” He grins at me.
The celebrant clears her throat, holding out the rings. “Gentlemen, your rings?”
Felix takes his ring from her.
“Felix, repeat after me,” the celebrant says. “With this ring, I choose you.”
“With this ring, I choose you,” Felix says, sliding the band onto my finger. His hands are completely steady now.
Unlike mine are when I reach for my ring from the celebrant.
I normally pride myself on my steady hands, but it appears my hands have realized this is the most important thing I will ever do for my life happiness and are shaking.
“And, Jared,” she continues, “repeat after me: with this ring, I choose you.”
“With this ring, I choose you,” I say, managing to slide the gold band onto his finger.
“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you married. You may?—”
But Felix doesn’t wait. He pulls me in for a kiss that’s slightly too enthusiastic for public viewing. The crowd erupts in cheers and wolf-whistles, though I’m pretty sure I hear “gross” from Emmy’s direction.
Our reception is heldat a restaurant that’s right on the beach. It’s a beautiful night, and the doors are wide open to the deck, so everyone is dancing under the sky.
There’s Mattie with his boyfriend. It’s still hilarious that the man who used to give cynical commentary on other people’s love lives ended up in the most ridiculous, swoony Hallmark movie romance. It’s like the universe heard him mocking romance and said, “hold my beer.”
Tim and Jamie are slow dancing like they’re the only two people on the deck, Jamie’s head on Tim’s shoulder, while Tim whispers something that makes him laugh.
It wasn’t until their wedding reception a year ago that I learned that Tim and Jamie’s relationship had started with an inadvertent secret that came close to derailing it. The fact that they managed to make it through provides even more testimony to the power of love as a force for forgiveness.
Near Tim and Jamie, Seb is dancing with his boyfriend, and they are definitely attracting more than their fair share of stares from our other wedding guests.
Because Seb’s boyfriend is none other than Marcus Johnson, a man whose face has graced countless Hollywood hit movies.
Okay, on second thought, maybe that takes over from Felix and Sophie’s friendship as the biggest surprise in the past two years. The discovery that the quiet, unassuming science professor on my soccer team had been secretly dating one of Hollywood’s biggest stars for years. When news of their relationship had broken in the most public—and romantic—way possible, it was the first time I saw Felix’s mouth literally drop open in surprise.
“It’s always the quiet ones,” he’d finally said when he recovered from his shock.
But despite Marcus and Seb shocking the Rainbow Rascals team and pretty much the whole world, seeing them together now shows that they make more sense as a couple in real life than they do on paper. Because Marcus seems to have dropped the layer of cocky charm he usually has plastered on when he’s talking to the media and is staring down at Seb with an expression that can only be described as adoration.
“I just challenged your husband to a couples dance-off,” Ryan says, appearing at my elbow with Cody in tow.
