Thirty-Four
CARINA
Of course,I don’t leave, not after everything. Not afterknowingAlaric is on his way to the Otherworld and Ryder will be heartbroken.
I remain seated on the ground against his cabin, out of view from the pack, who all linger a dozen feet away, waiting for news of their ex-Alpha. A leaf becomes my entertainment; I roll it between my palms as my eyes remain closed and my head tips towards the sky, speaking to the being who’ll never directly respond.
Hecate, help Alaric pass on. The vampires have demons watching over them—we have you. Who do the shifters have? If no one, could you take this one on? Guide him. Help him find his deceased mate.
Keep the pack safe and Ryder well.
And please don’t push me out. The Darkness…it isn’t enough to turn me away from you. The voices are quiet now.
Please keep us all safe.
I remain out of sight for a few reasons—uncertain how the pack will react to my presence. Considering Alaric got sickbecause of a witch, I’m probably top of their kill list, no matter what this week changed.
If I were smart, I’d listen to both Alaric and Ryder and head home. Clearly, the wolves have no more need for me, which means anything to do with Twilight Grove is the coven’s problem.
There’s nothing left here for me.
Despite all these facts, leaving feels wrong, empty—like I’d be going on an ellipsis. My time here won’t be officially concluded but rather trailed off into nothing. Perhaps my goodbye with Ryder wasn’t really a goodbye, but more him screaming at me. Perhaps because I have a bag of clothing in the building against my back. Or maybe even because leaving now won’t give me the chance to say goodbye to Leah and Claire, who’ve basically adopted me.
Or maybe it’s because everything involving Ryder feels unfinished. It’s wrong to leave him, period. Not only now, but in general.Somethingmystical is keeping me here. Something tying me to this ground, and I wish I knew what it was about him that doesn’t let me walk away.
Is it pathetic for a witch to be hanging around her enemy’s camp, waiting for said enemy to notice her? Probably.
A short time later, amidst my ongoing battle over leaving or staying, a loud roar rumbles through the camp and urges me to my feet. The growl is as familiar to me as my own voice; I’ve heard it many times this week.
This time, however, it’s laced with pain. The sound immediately punches my insides and forces my feet forward—to him—before I can stop myself from walking into the path of an angry and grieving wolf. One, who for all his reservations, might officially turn on me.
Yet,feelingit won’t be the case. I round the cabin just in time to glimpse a flash of pure, muscled male flesh beforehe completes the shift mid-stride and takes off into the forest beyond. A pained howl fills the area, echoing as though it’s coming from every angle.
There are plenty of people who may follow him, but I find myself front of the pack—metaphorically. I’m three strides away from the camp’s edge when a hand clamps on my shoulder, pulling me backwards.
“What are you doing here?” Xander stares down at me.
I sigh. Him too? Everyone’s telling me to get lost.
“Alaric’s gone, I assume?” I look over his shoulder to see Leah gripping Claire’s hand while watching us from a spot somewhat nearby.
Xander nods his answer, then grimaces. “When Ryder’s mom passed, we didn’t see him for two days. I fear it’s what he’s about to do, but it’s different this time. He’s Alpha. He has people counting on him to lead them through grief.”
“What about his grief?” I snap without thinking—without remembering their rules are so far from being my place, I exist on a different planet.
“An Alpha isn’t allowed to grieve in the same way anymore.”
Well, isn’t that bullshit.
Knowing Xander isn’t the one to argue this with—and that talking to him is only letting Ryder get farther away—I tug myself free from his hold. “I’ll go get him and see if I can bring him back. I think I know where he is.”
My offer is met with a skeptical look. “First, you’d need to catch up to him. And then…well, Carina, look. Shifters are erratic when emotional—dangerous, even. I know for a fact—and trust me on this one—hurting you is the last thing he wants. So, maybe staying away would be safer.”
“Someone has to be there for him, and you have a pack to look after. I’m an outsider with a different perspective. Maybe it’s what he needs.”
Xander laughs harshly, but I’m getting the sense it’s not really directed at me. “Oh, you’re what he needs alright.”
“Could I get a ride? Make the trip faster.”
