Pretending, for a few seconds, we had a different life ahead.
Amos and Marissa stand beside him but back away with my approach. Amos shakes his head but it’s Marissa’s whisper that urges me forward. “He’s fading, Ryder. It won’t be long.”
Nothing about this day has beenlong,yet I’ve lived nine lives like a fucking cat.
His eyes crack open as I take the seat on the edge of his bed and grip his hand between mine, trying to squeeze every ounce of love I have for this man in my grip. Respect for my Alpha, love for my father, and reverence for the honourable wolf.
“Proud of…you…Ryder.”
Don’t talk.Don’t use your energy.
In the distance, the door shuts, telling me we’re alone.
My reply is caught in my throat, grief clogging it. I swallow once, twice, but it doesn’t clear. With every passing second, the black storm clouds continue moving in, casting my life into oneof shadows and obscurity andloss. Of my mate and my father all gone within moments of the other.
I bow over his hand, holding him as tight as I can while he takes his final breath. Not a shudder but a sigh as his hand goes limp in mine.
I hold him until I can’t hold onto him any longer.
Until I hand him to my mother in the Otherworld.
Death is…well,I don’t know what death is.
It doesn’t make sense. It’s fruitless. The end. The beginning of change.
For the dying person, everything ends. For the rest of us, we’re left behind.
Dad leftmebehind.
Not knowing how much time has passed, I finally lift my head and avert my eyes from my father’s body. As outgoing Alpha, there’ll be a ceremony, regardless that I’ve already taken his place. There’s a pack ritual that must be seen to, and I must lead it…but I can’t.
Time passes differently after death. When my mother left me, I did too, living in the mountains for two days, running and running until my paws gave out.
Death isn’t kind. There is no strength in it.
I’m not good at handling grief, I’ll admit. Mom, Dad…Carina. Mated or not, her death would destroy me. This time, I’m not allowed to run. Beyond the doors, there are people who need me.
They have to know.
The air grows thick, murky, and cold like a grave by the time I finally stand. With a final glance at my father, who appears to only be peacefully resting, I walk away. My chest clenches,because for the first time in days, he’s not in physical pain, and for the first time in years, he’s not in emotional pain.
I open the door, my gaze immediately flicking to the distance where the town is. Where Carina should be close to by now. If she’s smart, she’ll have gone. She’s safe. I won’t have to one day mourn her too. She’ll be the fated mate I gave up, and life will move on.
At the base of the stairs, Marissa and Amos are standing beside Xander, Leah, Claire, and Conan. Holly’s joined Conan in the time I’ve been inside, his hand tight around her waist while her face is buried in his chest. The pack are all in varying degrees of comforting one another, and every single person looks up at me for the news that’s clogged behind thick emotions and threatening tears.
I manage nothing louder than a whisper. “He’s gone.”
Without waiting for their response—the howls, the cries—I stride past them all and out the camp, discarding my clothes as my body vibrates, completing the shift from man to wolf.
From son to animal.
A long, pained howl fills the forest as I take off.
“Ryder!” Xander yells from somewhere behind me.
My paws pick up speed and I disappear into the trees, letting the setting sun create my path.
A glow of life while I run through the shadows, following the death of my father.
