Except for in the most personal ways, but I have the good sense not to force the issue, I added to myself.
The speech was as measured as I'd ever been in my life, and it seemed to appease some around the table, but I didn't miss the way many eyes slid in Malcolm Barr's direction where he sat stewing in the corner. I wanted to shout that Barr had certainly abandoned Brigid in far more reprehensible ways than she had by retreating to her cottage, but there would be no point. I'd said my piece. It was up to the men around the table to see reason, and in my experience that only happened if a man was already inclined to do so.
"As Beta Cameron has pointed out, I cannot control the weather, but I will be sure to send out men to your estate, Lord McKinney, to help with cleaning up the trees. And to yours, Danielson, to repair fences. We've had a record number of kids born this spring, and if your sheep can't be recovered, they can at least be replaced with my compliments." It was a more magnanimous offer than the fools deserved, and they seemed to realize as much because mouths remained shut this time. "With these matters settled, may I recommend we retire for the day and enjoy the feast my omega has planned for you all."
I rose from my seat and made eye contact with the men who opened their mouths from the corners to mutter to one another, until one by one, the betas filed from the room. Samuel Cameron was at the back of the pack, and I stepped to his side to make my exit with him.
"Thank you for speaking some sense," I said.
He looked more nervous now than he had telling off the whole room, and he glanced behind us. "I don't know what good it will have done. They don't take me seriously."
"All these men have money, loud opinions, and reputation. Keep using the first two now that you have them, and the thirdwill come soon enough," I said, clapping the young man on the shoulder.
He snorted at that, and we slipped apart as we broke out of the hallway and into the great room, alive with candlelight and musicians, a number of staff ready to serve from jugs of mead and ale. The tenor of our group brightened considerably at the sight, and I chewed at my own scowl as I caught sight of Brigid escorting McKinney and Danielson to a table, all their ire and skepticism vanished in the face of her beauty and smiles.
Fire burned proud in my chest. I'd never imagined what my omega might be. My mother had been a flower at my father's side, adored by him and admired by other men, but she'd never been an active force in the keep. Brigid was exquisite, precious, and an asset to me as alpha. It didn't seem to matter what the menwantedto think of her. When she turned in their direction, they flirted and blushed and let her guide them like lovestruck boys to their table.
An absurd grin spread over my face as I watched my prickly, defensive, skittish omega charm and cajole the men in the room, knowing she would never bother to sweet talk me in such a way. No, she would roll her eyes and boss me to my seat under her breath before turning a smile onto another man.
And I would carry on loving her as I had almost from the start.
Chapter Twenty-Five
BRIGID
Less than ten years ago, I'd considered myself a weak woman. I'd blamed myself for Malcolm's interest in others, hated myself for accepting his disloyalty and remaining with him, resented my lifetime of going along with my father and Malcolm's orders.
But I couldn't be a weak woman, not with the way I kept my spine straight and my smile fastened on for the betas and for Torion too. When my hands shook at dinner, I hid them under my napkin until I could gain control of them again. When I thought I wouldn't be able to take another breath, I ducked my chin and pretended to listen to whatever someone was saying to me as I counted slowly in my mind and nodded to the rhythm of their words.
When the evening finally wound to a close, the meal taken away and the requests for drink slowing, I wondered if I was relieved or terrified to be retiring to bed with Torion. I'd managed a full day of keeping my panic at bay, or at least hidden from others, but I wasn't sure I could hide it from him if we were alone again.
Torion, as usual, didn't give me the chance to brace.
"Do you know how proud you make me?"
We'd barely made it through the door of our bedroom when he spoke, low and earnest, voice rough with feeling and gaze hot with desire. I tried to catch my breath, to slip away, but I was too weary and the air hiccuped in my throat as Torion's arms circled my waist. It was as if he'd tailored the words to strike me perfectly, to shatter the lock on the fragile cage where I'd stuffed my worries away. When I tried to step closer to hide my face against his chest, his thumbs curled around my ribs, holding me just far enough away to look down at me, eyes glittering warmly, smile soft. And then a tense V formed between his eyes, and I knew my mask was slipping.
"Please, Torion, let me—" I gasped out, the words faltering for air.
His shoulders fell in disappointment, gaze shuttering, and something soft in my chest tore as he sighed.
"Brigid—"
Was it worse to drown in guilt as I basked in Torion's sweetness, or face the reality of him pulling away and knowing it was my fault? For the first time, I refused both options, reaching out to cling to his shirt.
"I'm so—I'm sor—" I couldn't catch my breath, and my vision was blurring, hot tracks rolling down my cheeks until salt pooled in the corners of my mouth.
"Brigid?" I couldn't make out Torion's features, but I swallowed down lungfuls of his scent as he enclosed me into his chest and then surrounded us with his wings. "Brigid, love, what is it? What's wrong? Did someone say something?"
My spine bowed at the word 'love,' and the shaking in my hands spread upward into my arms and shoulders and all through my body, unraveling all of my control once and for all.
I was babbling a nonsensical apology, tears flavoring the panicked words. Sorry for pulling away, for pushing him back,for not beingableto trust him when I was realizing Torion was a man a womancouldtrust.
Torion's hands cupped my elbows, pushing my arms around his neck. I tightened them on my own as my feet left the floor, squeezed him tight until I thought I might be strangling him. His hands cradled me gently, my feet swaying, and I wasn't sure how he managed it, but I felt the softness of the bed beneath me without him ever pulling me off his chest.
"There now, let me hold you. I have you, love."
His voice was low and slow, spilling out comforting words without ever hushing me. His heartbeat drummed steadily under my ear, counting the seconds and minutes as my speech fell apart into simple wounded sounds. I'd never been held like this, not since I was a little girl, and that only made me sob harder until there was no breath for sound at all, just a lifetime's worth of weeping as Torion stroked my back and let me soak his shirt.
