Darling Elizabeth,
You do know how to cheer a man! Would that my business was already concluded so that I might hurry back to you. Things progress apace, but they are not finished yet, thus I am still waiting in town. Hopefully a few more days will do it and I will be with you before the week is out.
I do remember the oak tree and our pleasing encounter beneath it. Though thinking of it now is more pain than pleasure, as I know how sweet it is to hold you, but you are too far away for me to do so. Once we are married, I will insist you travel with me as much as possible. I cannot do without you.
I cannot believe you still have that loathsome letter! I shall have to write you a great many more to replace it. And I wholeheartedly agree with your idea that we burn it together. It can be one of our first acts as a married couple: the destruction of our past mistakes. Though we should think of a more fitting title for the activity.
I called on the Gardiners yesterday and they invited me to dinner. Your cousin Margaret insisted I give you her latest sketch. I am enclosing it here. I think it is supposed to be a vase of flowers, but I am not entirely certain. It might be a lady with a parasol. She clearly put a great effort into it and was very proud to show it to me. I did not have the heart to ask what it was as I gather she thought it was apparent. Mayhap it will be to you.
My cousin Hayes is courting a lady. My aunt is glad he is finally taking the succession of the title seriously, but I cannot think Lady Alice a good choice. Besides the fact that she was doggedly pursuing me only last season, she would not be pleasant to live with. She puts me in mind of Miss Bingley, if that gives you an idea of her nature.
It is not my affair, so I ought to mind my own business, but Hayes is the heir to the Matlock earldom. He will one day wield a great deal of influence. He, more than his brothers, needs to choose wisely. Not to mention that a spendthrift bride would jeopardize the allowances of my other cousins, and I would hate to see any of them in straits.
I received a letter from Georgiana. She is looking forward to her arrival in Hertfordshire. I must think of something to give my cousin as a thank you for escorting her from Pemberley. I have never been close to Jonathon—he is too much younger than me for us to have been playmates as children—but he has always been kind to G. I think he is a gentle soul. They get along well in that regard.
Is there anything you wish me to bring from town? Your mother has sent me a list. I know the two of you do not have the easiest relationship, but I am pleased she is treating me like family. My own family is much more formal. Anyhow, I will be collecting a few packages for her. Do let me know if there is anything you desire me to bring for you. You know it pleases me to make you happy.
I miss you dreadfully. I fear I am becoming one of those poor fools who cannot be away from his wife for more than a day without becoming a milksop. Only, I do not feel like a fool. I feel incredibly lucky. Lucky to have won a worthy lady, lucky to have attained my heart’s desire, lucky to be marrying a woman whom I cannot wait to spend my life with.
I am afraid I will not make it much longer. If my business is not concluded in two days’ time, I will return to you regardless (and we shall revisit that oak tree, irrespective of the weather). It is not worth this discomfort.
With all my love,
FD
7 November, 1812
Longbourn, Hertfordshire
My Darling Almost-Husband,
I am sorry your business has been delayed. If it is any consolation, I miss you just as much as you are missing me. And I have the added frustration of my mother in full wedding-preparation mode, so when you think about it, my situation is actually worse in many ways. At least you have business to occupy you and may do with your time as you like.
I have no idea what your cousin Jonathon would like as a gift, but I am pleased he is bringing G to us for the wedding. She will make a delightful sister. Do you think she minds staying with your cousins for a time? I do not want her to think we don’t want her about, but I am looking forward to having you all to myself.
Looking at Margaret’s sketch, I think it is a man with an umbrella, walking in the rain. At least I think those spots on the paper are rain.
I know not what to write to you to make you feel half as cherished and loved as you make me feel. You know I can fill a letter with newsy tidbits and stories from the neighborhood. (Mrs. Goulding’s favorite goat escaped into the rose garden and she is devastated—Mrs. Goulding, not the goat. Her husband has threatened to make her into a stew. The goat, not Mrs. Goulding.) And you know I will always choose humor over an honest accounting of my feelings. It is likely because I have a silly mother and a father who never fails to point said silliness out. (You see, I am doing it now.)
But because I love you so very much, and because I believe you to be the very best of men, I will try. For you, my love, I shall lay my heart bare, and if I make a terrible hash of it, I shall rely on your aforementioned goodness not to hold it against me. I am sure I could improve with time.
I do not know if I have ever told you this, but I am deeply pleased to be marrying you. So pleased that the only thing that could make me happier is if we were already wed. In the event you already knew that, I will tell youwhyI am so pleased to be marrying you, which I am less certain of your foreknowledge.
Fitzwilliam, there are not words to describe how very much I value you. To me, you are everything a gentleman ought to be. You are kind and generous and honest and forthright. But more importantly, you are willing to look at yourself and truly assess what you find there. You do not let wounded pride rule your actions and decide the path your life should take. And I am very grateful for it, for if you had, we would not be writing to each other right now, and I would always feel as if a piece of me were missing.
For that is how I feel with you—that we were intended for one another. I have never spoken of such to anyone for I fear it makes me sound dreadfully naïve, but I cannot help my feelings. You are the perfect man for me. If I were to design a husband to suit my desires, he would be exactly like you. I know enough of your feelings about me to say that you feel something similar. How could such a pairing come about if it were not pre-ordained?
Mr. Bingley just happened to take a house near my own home, and you happened to visit him at the same time a cousin we have never met before visited from Kent. He happened to marry my closest friend, and she happened to invite me to visit her home—next to your aunt’s estate!—at thesame timeyou happened to be visiting. If I had come a few weeks later, I would not have seen you at all—nor would I have received your letter and learned my own folly.
And of course our meeting at Pemberley must have been fated—five minutes in either direction and we would have missed one another entirely. Try if you dare, but you cannot convince me Providence did not have a hand in our meeting one another and being thrown together again so many seemingly coincidental times.
I am so very grateful we have found one another, and I cannot wait to call you Husband. My heart is overflowing with love for you. Hurry back to me, and I will show you how much.
Your loving soon-to-be-wife,
Elizabeth
9 November, 1812
