“Or,” Tessa picked up right where she left off, “you could actually put yourself out there. And Josh does not count.”
Josh. My on-again, off-again situationship from back home. A friend with benefits who popped up like a bad habit. It could’ve been more, but he was too content with his simple ass life. My love for adrenaline, for chaos even, made no sense to him. He was the mood board for complacency.
I’d already cut him off weeks ago after realizing he was in the way.
“Let’s not bring him up. Every time I think I want to get out there, a man does something to piss me off. Like, I was all happy when he texted asking if he could come visit and us go out. And not because I want more, but it was a sign of a change. Then Offset cheated on Cardi B, and just like that, I decided fuck a man wasting my time.”
Tessa groaned, dragging her hands down her face. “Sis, I want you to be serious for once in your life when I bring up love. You are so irritating.”
“It’s crazy, right?” I said with a crooked grin.
“What?” she asked, side-eyeing me.
“You know what.”
She shook her head. “Not to me. We live recklessly for a living. Nothing scares me except a broke man who looks my way, thinking he has a chance.”
That made us both laugh so hard that people turned to look. That sentiment had been drilled into me by both my parents. Big Grant told me if a man needed to get on his feet, he needed to join the service, not date his daughter. It was never my job to manage someone else’s feet when I had my own two to stand on.
“Okay, for real,” I said once I calmed down. “I like it. I wish it was black and white, but it’s not. This shit feels like some weird freaky porn intro.”
Tessa snorted, chopsticks clumsy in her hand as our sushi arrived, pretty on their little black trays, and the conversation softened with soy sauce and ginger.
But my brain wasn’t on sushi. It was on the last gift I’d received. The one that melted me in a way I didn’t want to admit out loud. The custom derby skates fit like a glove, with flames stitched on one side and sunflowers on the other. My initials were embroidered perfectly in a halo. Beautiful and so well built. I’d never heard of the brand, but upon looking them up, I knew this was not a man in his momma’s basement but a man with connections and a few coins.
They’d shown up with no note. It was terrifying. It was thrilling. And I wasn’t sure how to feel. I thought as time went on, I’d be able to make sense of it, but I still hadn’t.
“Okay, here’s what I think, and bitch be open-minded,” she fussed with a pointed finger.
“Don’t be dramatic.”
“I think you should draw his ass out.”
“You mean DaVinci?”
I gasped at saying his name because I swore I wouldn’t in fear of him popping up like the Candyman.
“I mean, whoever it is. Because honestly, if it is DaVinci, you’d better make him work the hardest he’s ever worked in order to make this up to you. So, yes, draw him out.”
“And how do I do that, Miss Cleo?”
“Live. Let’s hit Late Night. It’s ladies’ night, we should be there. It’s been a minute since we hit the club together. And Callee’s Bar and Grill doesn’t count. I’m talking get fine and make these niggas drool.”
I sat back and chewed silently. Maybe she was right. I didn’t know what her plan was, but Quintessa Jamison had never steered me wrong in all our years of being friends. If I could trust anyone, it was her.
“Look, if he's watching, he'll show up eventually. But you know what speeds that up? Competition. Let some men smile in your face, buy you drinks, shoot their shot. That'll bring your biggest hater out real quick—aka your man.”
“Fine,” I finally said, pointing my chopsticks at her. “But if we do this, you bet not bail like last time.”
Tessa sucked her teeth. “Girl, please. I’m outside. I’m so far outside I might as well be the valet.”
I laughed and shook my head, but the truth settled in anyway, steady and undeniable. I took a long breath that reset something in me, and at that moment, I realized I was done sitting around hoping life would make things easier or clearer. Scared or not, confused or not, even with everything pulling at me, I wasn’t waiting anymore. If somebody wanted my attention that damn bad, then somebody could step up and earn it.
“Alright,” I said, lifting my glass. “Let’s shake the city.”
Tessa clinked hers against mine. “That’s my girl.”
???
