Josh pulls off the highway and heads for the gas pumps at the rest stop.
Ooh, he’s good. Making me think he’s not going to propose.
“You really want to do this? Here? Tonight?” He asks, voice low, rubbing my knee.
“Do what?” I manage to say, even though I’m barely able to breathe, let alone talk. I flex my perfectly manicured fingers on top of his.
“You know what. I’ve been hinting that this is something on my bucket list, baby...”
My heart hammers in my throat. “I want to do anything with you.”
“Let me get gas so they don’t get suspicious,” he says and hops out of the car with a huge grin.
“Okay!”Oh God! This is really happening.
Wait, suspicious?
My inner voice isn’t sure why the lone trucker in an otherwise deserted rest stop and the person running the combo of Interstate Gas and Cavalier Chicken Clubs would care what we’re doing, but... Whatever. Men get nerves before they propose.
Josh taps the window and shouts in, “I see a perfect spot, over there, past the overnight truck parking.”
“But the sunset is prettier on this side, where the scenic overlook sign is!” I protest.
“There’s no cover there!”
“Cover?”
“Trust me, I’ve done this before.”
“Okay, I... What? Huh?”He’s proposed before?The heart crashes out of my throat and lands in my lap.
Josh is back in the car, a gleeful grin on his face, speeding across the flurry-covered pavement.
I’m not grinning. I can’t even get my mouth to stop hanging open. When Josh parks, I look at him in horror.
“What? Did you change your mind? Again?” he sounds faintly disgusted and puts his hand back on the gearshift.
“You did this before? With who?”
“Oh! Oh, that’s the big deal? It was way before you, babe, freshman winter break, skiing in Vermont.”
“Oh. Oh, you’ve never... you’ve never told me.”You were engaged in college? What happened with her?
What other emotional baggage is he carrying? Or hiding?
“Well, I thought it kinda freaked you out when I wanted to talk about stuff like that. I don’t mind it. In fact, being open to things like that... you know. Sharing? It can be good. Physically. Spiritually...”
“Yeah! I agree.” Apparently, we need to share a lot more. I never knew that he almost got married at eighteen or nineteen!
“Youdo?” Josh looks like he hit the jackpot, and I’m still beyond confused.
What does he mean, I freaked out when we talked about this stuff? It took me six months to train him that communication was more than “I want a burrito, you want one, too?”
“Oh, Bri. This is the best Christmas present ever. I... Oh! We could get Kyle to bring Shay. That’s his new girlfriend. She’s very into the lifestyle.”
My mind feels like it’s on a rollercoaster, and my body has been left behind. Everything is very confusing, and all I know is that I’m now following Josh into the wooded area, past crushed soda cans and cigarette butts, wondering how in the world he thinks this dark, cold, shadowy spot is better than the last glimmers of the fast-sinking sun.
“You’ll want to lean on a tree.”
