“Huh? I thought... I thought you’d get on your knees?”
Josh shrugs and rubs his hands together. “It’s your first time, you pick.”
“What? Joshua Bexley Hanagan! What thefuckis happening? You tell me we’re going to have a life-changing romantic week, you joke about Kyle visiting, you just tell me you were engaged in college—”
“Engaged! Huh?”
“You said during your freshman year you did this before!”
“I have! I mean, I’ve had sex outside, in the snow. Oh, God, it’s so... It’samazing. You’re one with nature! There’s something so primal about the cold, and about the heat two bodies in the throes of animalistic passion make!” He closes his eyes with a grunt, a satisfied look that I associate with cheat day or beating his best time in a 5K. “I thought we’d wait until we got to the lodge, but—”
I don’t know whether to laugh or scream. I want to yell “huh” one more time, but I’m sick of the word, bitterly sick of the confusing, unraveling feeling it’s making in my brain.
Josh is the one who stops, looking deeply confused. “Wait. Propose?”
“Yes! Josh, we talked about my wanting to move into the next stage of our lives. I don’t want to manage so many people. I want to stop paying an arm and a leg in rent. We were going to—”
“Move in together?”
“Get married!”
“No! Oh, no, no, no!” Josh actually scrambles backward. Scrambles, like a startled crab. “I don’t believe in marriage anymore.”
Anymore?
“You did last month!” I shriek. “We were at Alexis and Dennis’ wedding, and you said that you—”
“But I don’t think that way,now, babe. And you shouldn’t, either. All this ‘owning’ stuff. It’s not cool. I've been listening to my guru, and he’s really against the idea of people owning each other.”
“So am I. That sounds like some kind of slavery. Marriage is not ownership. It’s a mutual bond, made out of love.” I’m shaking now. It’s not just the cold, although it’s getting worse by the second as the sun drops.
“Even monogamy. We should belong to the earth. The stars and seas.Nature.Don’t you see?Natureis the only true mother we have. And we should be herchildren.We shouldn’t put limits on our souls.”
“Wh-what is all this?” I shake my head, lips trembling to match my legs in their cute, buttery soft leggings. “You own a home gym that costs more than my car.”
“Your car is pretty shitty, babe.”
“We’re not talking about my car!”
“You kinda did.”
I let out a long, howling, frustrated scream that earns a hoarse cry of surprise from the inside of the truckstop.
“They’re going to think I’m killing you or something, shut up!” Josh hisses.
“Shut up?” I squawk. “No! No, I will not. Last month,literallylast month, after we went to that wedding, we talked about our dream jobs, dream plans, our bucket lists. I said a home, marriage, kids, and a trip to Europe—and maybe a buyer’s job instead of a managerial job in retail.” My voice rises as it quakes. “Nowhere on your list was ‘become one with nature’ or ‘have sex in public!’”
“It’s not public if no one sees you!” he hisses.
Well. That earns another scream. Running footsteps soon follow.
“If I get maced, I’m suing you,” Josh suddenly darts back to the car.
I follow, but my furry boots are designed for cuteness and comfort, not traction. My legs slide in different directions, and I have to scream after his back. “You never mentioned youhated monogamy! Oh, my God! You said Kyle could bring Shay because—”
“Monogamy constrains our society. I think we should be free to spread love around.”
“I don’t love Shay! I don’t even know her! And I know Kyle, and Idon’tlike him!”
