There’s a gas station at the end of the street, and across the road there’s a diner and a tire shop with a bar on the other side.I’ll be heading there later.For now, I go over to the diner to order takeout.
Neva has been a picky eater since she was a kid.For the longest time, all she’d eat was grilled cheese sandwiches or chicken tenders and mashed potatoes.I know better than to order her a burger.She hates anything greasy.
I play it safe and order her a chicken tender meal.The diner is backed up with orders.Seems the motel is full of travelers like us who got stuck in the storm.
By the time I get back to the room, an hour has passed.It takes Neva a minute to let me in.I can tell she’s been crying, and I feel like shit about it.
She utters a barely there thanks and takes her food to the bed where she’s watching some sappy Christmas movie.
I sit at the table alone with my burger and fries.That damn cat is staring at me with its judgmental eyes.Like he knows I’m the reason Neva is sad.If I made a move on her, my life would be screwed.It sounds selfish, but I like my life.Love the club.Neva would slide right in perfectly except I’m not good enough for her.Never have been.Never will be.Devil would never sign off on it, and Storm would hate me.He’s already pissed I went against him in the last club vote.This would send him over the edge.
“Food okay?”I ask after too much silence stretching between us.
“Fine.”
“What’s your movie about?”
“Christmas,” she gives another one-word response without meeting my gaze.
“Is that how it’s going to be, Neva?All or nothing?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”She scratches her kitty behind his ears and gives him a small piece of her chicken.
If that’s how she wants to play this, I’ll give it to her for now.But before we get back to Blackwood, we’ve gotta settle this shit hanging between us.I don’t know what she wants from me, but whatever it is, we both know I can’t give it.
No matter how badly I want to root myself so deep inside her, I never find my way out.I can’t be the man she needs.I stare out the window as the snow continues to fall, making leaving this place anytime soon nearly impossible.
We’ve got to make the best of it.Somehow.But fuck every time I look at her, all I want is to kiss her.To tell her it doesn’t fucking matter.That I want her, however I can have her.
I check the time on my phone.It’s not even two in the evening yet.
“Come on.”
“What?”
“Let’s go do some Christmas shopping.”
“It’s freezing out there, and since when do you like to shop any day, let alone for a holiday?”
“Just thought you might want to get out of this room for a bit.”I rub a hand over my unruly hair.
“Fine.”
I excuse myself to the bathroom while she takes her cat out to piss in the snow or some shit.When I’m done freshening up, I glance out the window and see her having a fucking photoshoot with her damn cat.He’s got on his pink pajamas with candy canes on them and a red velvet Santa hat that’s trimmed with white fur.
I pull my coat back on and walk outside.“What the fuck are you doing?”
“Making content.Mr.Tinkles is quite popular online.”
“Your cat has a social media following?”
“Yup.People love him, and companies send me free stuff and pay me to make videos of Mr.Tinkles testing their products.”
“People pay you for pictures of your cat?”
“Videos pay more.”
“Now I’ve fucking heard it all.You got enough content yet?”
