I can’t do any of that, though.
It’d be signing my death warrant.Devil and Storm would kill me and not think twice about it.
“The couch is fine.”
“Whatever.”She lets the ball of gray fluff loose.He sticks his nose and his tail in the air and explores the bed, sniffing the unfamiliar smells.Learning the lay of the room.
“He won’t piss to mark his territory, will he?”
“Mr.Tinkles is well behaved.Aren’t you, my precious darling boy?”She scoops him up and plants kisses all over his face.
“You know he licks his ass, don’t you?”
“Jealous?I bet you would suck your own dick if you could reach it.”
I snort.“Don’t need to.That’s what I got you for.”The smart remark rolls off my tongue before I can stop it.
“Ha.As if.You wish I’d blow you.”
Yeah, Bean.I wish a lot of things.
“Nah, you’d probably make sloppy work of it and bite it.You wouldn’t know what to do with it.”
“I’ve not had any complaints.”
Rage streams through my veins.“Who?”
“You want a name?”
“Yeah, Bean.Whose dick have you been sucking?”I ball my fists, ready to hunt them down and bash their fucking skulls in.“Don’t tell me it was that slimy little prick from earlier.”
“And what if it was?What’s it to you?”
“Nothing.I just think your old man would be disappointed.”
“Like he cares what I do.”She shakes her head.“You know, that’s what I hate about men.You guys can stick their dicks in anything.Fuck whoever you want.As many women as you want, and no one cares.Hell, they will pat you on the back and say, atta boy.But if a girl does it, she’s a whore.A slut.Dirty.You shame them.Why is it okay for men but not women to fuck as many people as they want?”
“It just is.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it.”
“Because, Bean.A man wants his woman to be his and only his.”
“You think women don’t want that?You think I want to fuck you after you’ve been fucking club whores?Newsflash, buddy.It’s not sexy.It’s fucking gross.I wouldn’t suck your dick if you paid me or begged me because I know where it’s been.”
“What would you know about my dick?”
“Not a damn thing.”Tears burn in the corners of her eyes, glittering with a pain I never noticed before.
Does Neva have feelings for me?She’s the one thing I want that I can’t have.Doesn’t she see I have to push her away?
“How about I get us some lunch?”
“Walk away because the conversation got too real,” she shouts after me.
“Stay put,” I growl, hating that she’s right.Despising the fact that she knows me too damn well.That she sees straight through me.The door rattles behind me as I stomp out into the cold.Fuck.I didn’t get the room key.There’s no way I’m going back in that room right now.If I do, I’ll do something I won’t be able to take back.
I shove a hand in my pocket and pull out my smokes.I light one up and watch the smoke curl and dissipate into the frigid air.Tobacco pulls through my lungs, calming me.I wander down the street from the motel, seeing what’s close by and hoping like hell everyone hasn’t closed up shop due to the weather.
