“I know when the weigh-in is,” I barked, not looking forward to the process I needed to undergo to drop the weight fast.
“This part sucks, I know. But you’ve done it countless times before.”
“I’m aware.” My expression was deadpan. “That’s why I’m pissy.”
“I appreciate your acknowledgment that you’re being a dick right now.” Trevor smiled, and I wondered if he’d be willing to spar with me to get some of this weight off. I wouldn’t mind taking out some of my aggression on him, especially if he kept grinning at me like that. I grunted when he pushed the silver material toward me. “Just put it on. You can cut this weight in a day, but so as not to stress your body too much, we’ll do it over the three days.”
“Stop acting like you have to do anything,” I grumped, stripping down to my underwear and putting the sauna suit on. I was already hot, but I needed to sweat out some water weight,and this was the easiest way to do it. After he zipped me up, I entered the sauna.
“I have to put up with your ass,” he retorted. “You got thirty minutes, then we’ll see how you are.” He closed the door behind me, and I immediately started sweating.
After forty-five minutes on the treadmill, another hour split between the battle ropes, kettlebell, and deadlifting, I then spent two hours sparring in the ring. I was exhausted. All I wanted to do was lie down in bed next to Sophie. But that wouldn’t be happening until much later. And that was if she didn’t send me away for being miserable. She’d witnessed my various moods, but this was the first time I’d had to cut weight since knowing her, and it was a task that amplified my sour disposition.
Lying on the bench, I closed my eyes and thought of her. Maybe her image would soften my irritation. I pictured the look on her face when she told me she loved me, remembering how hearing those words made me feel truly alive for the first time in years.
But then my mind took a left turn, and images of a person I’d tried to forget popped into my head. Jay. That motherfucking traitor. We’d been close at one point, but then he betrayed me, and I severed all ties. My team was aware of what happened, but I hadn’t told Sophie yet. I didn’t want my past to taint my future, so I kept her in the dark. If it were up to me, I’d never reveal any of the details, the memory of them devastating to remember. But since I’d be fighting Jay in three days, I was sure something was going to come out.
My anger continued to build, but when I opened my eyes, Sophie was outside the sauna door. She was talking to Trevor, and while I was appreciative he wasn’t avoiding her like he had been, a wave of jealousy bolted through me. Trevor was a couple years younger than me and single. Did I think he’d hit on her? No. But did I like the casual way he looked at her right now as ifthey were old friends? Also, no. I could blame my shitty mood on being hot and tired, but that was only half of it. I’d told Sophie the truth when I warned her that I’d become possessive and jealous the moment she gave herself to me. I would’ve thought her telling me she loved me would tamp down those feelings, but her declaration only exacerbated them because now I had everything to lose.
I didn’t act on my jealousies, but Sophie could tell when I was in that mood. Thankfully, it had happened only a handful of times, and I was working on controlling myself because I didn’t want to push her away.
My heart thumped harder when she laughed at something Trevor said, and just as I sat up, ready to open the door and ask them what the hell was so funny, she looked at me and smiled, and all was right in the world.
I didn’t deserve her, but I needed her.
Every time she looked my way, I felt like the luckiest man in the world.
And every time she hurt, I shattered a little inside.
I could physically protect Sophie, but could I help repair the emotional damage she’d endured?
Could she do the same for me?
The timer buzzed, and I stood up, careful not to move until the wave of dizziness disappeared.
“Are you okay?” Sophie asked, opening the door and taking a step inside. She immediately retreated, waving her hand in front of her. “How can you stand it in here?”
“I can’t. That’s why I’m miserable.” I was used to being hot from my workouts, but there was something different about just sitting in the heat.
“Yeah, Trevor warned me you would be.”
“Is that what you two were talking about?” My tone was harsher than I intended, but Sophie didn’t seem to notice.
“He told me not to take anything personally over these next few days because this is the one part of your training that you hate.”
“He’s not wrong. But you don’t have to laugh it up with him at my expense.” That time she frowned at my harsh tone.
So much for keeping my jealousy under wraps.
“We weren’t laughing at you,” she said. “I was just happy he was talking to me.”
“What does that mean?” I asked, anger lighting my skin like a torch.
“Not like that, Jax.” She moved toward me but stopped when I glared at her. “Will you calm down? That’s not what I meant.”
“I am calm.”
“You’re not, and you should be focusing on the task at hand and not making up stories in your head about me and Trevor. All I meant was that I was happy he wasn’t ignoring me anymore because that tension was affecting you, whether you want to admit it or not.”
