“No. I don’t think so,” he replied.
“You don’t think so?” I asked, my voice rising slightly.
“No. Maybe.”
I pushed him off me and sat up. “I’m starting to think the worst, Jackson.”
“Sorry. It’s just that I don’t know how to say this other than to blurt it out.” My lungs seized as my entire body became rigid. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but after you told me about what happened with your miscarriage, I started wondering if I ever wanted one of my own. Before I met you, I never considered the option, but now that there is a real possibility of a future together, there is a great chance that I might want to become a father one day. Is that something you still want?”
The biggest sigh I’d ever released left my body, and I closed my eyes in relief he didn’t tell me something horrible.
“You want kids someday? That’s what you had to tell me? You scared the hell out of me,” I said, playfully smacking his chest while inwardly grinning like a fool. “I didn’t know what you were going to say.”
“That doesn’t scare you? Because I’m petrified. I never thought I would consider having a family, especially not after….” His words trailed off, and he briefly looked away. But when his gaze landed back on mine, he smiled. “I didn’t want you to thinkthat your tragedy prompted hope for me.” He grimaced. “I pray that doesn’t sound as bad as it came out.”
“I know what you mean.”
“So, is that something you’re open to?” He knotted his brows as his teeth toyed with his bottom lip.
“Yes, it is.”
“Why do I feel more drained after this talk than after sex?” His tone was light, but his question was heavy.
“Because bringing a baby into the world is serious stuff. Sex is just fun. Something to do to pass the time.”
“Pass the time?” He hopped on top of me before I could laugh at teasing him. “Just fun? I beg to differ. Sex is serious. A lot of work goes into it. It takes discipline and patience to make you come like that.”
He winked at me, and I’d never seen a sexier gesture in my life.
“You’re right. And I appreciate the dedication you put into it.” We stared at each other a beat before he rolled onto his back, taking me with him and tucking me into his side. With the heavy topic out of the way, one I never expected to have this early on, I wanted to focus on learning a little more about him. “I can’t believe I haven’t asked you this yet, but who is the guy you’re fighting next week?” I couldn’t go wrong asking him something about his career, right?
When I’d first started working at the gym, I googled Jackson. Videos of his fights popped up, and when I clicked on one, I only made it thirty seconds before I closed my computer. Watching two men pummel each other wasn’t my idea of sport, but I kept my opinions to myself, as this was his livelihood.
A palpable tension radiated off him. My question bothered him.
“His name is Jay Monroe.”
I waited for more information, but it never came, so I nudged him. “Did you ever fight him before?”
“No.”
“Is he good?”
“I hear he is.”
“Come on. You can’t tell me you don’t follow your opponents. Don’t you have to strategize? Find out what their weaknesses are? Stuff like that?”
“That’s what I pay my team for.”
His voice dipped in annoyance even though I detected he tried to hide it from me. His grin was tight, a flash of something akin to anger residing behind his brown eyes.
He obviously didn’t want to talk about his upcoming opponent, so I let it go. Instead, I delighted in the fact that Jackson told me he loved me. Sure, I let it slip first, but the fact remained, what I’d fantasized about had finally come true.
I went to sleep in his arms, praying that when I woke, all this wouldn’t have been a dream.
40
“You’re coming in at one ninety-eight,” Trevor said, reading the scale I stood on. “Damn, man. You have to cut thirteen pounds for the weigh-in. It’s in three days.”
