My own voice cracks and I struggle to hold back my own tears. Her reaction caught me completely off guard, and I don’t know what to say. I thought she was fine with Adam. Hell, I may never have let myself get so attached to him had the two of them not gotten along so well while she was here.
What am I supposed to do now? I can’t be with a man my daughter doesn’t approve of. It won’t work. She’s my world. If this upsets her, then I’ll have to end it. That thought makes my chest ache.
“Do you want me to stop seeing Adam?” As soon as the words are out I feel sick. They leave a foul taste in my mouth, and every inch of my body aches at the very thought of never seeing him again.
“I don’t know.” I barely hear her response. “Maybe. Just until I wrap my head around it more. I mean.” She pauses, and Ihope like hell it's because she’s taking back the words she just said. “You didn’t even remember Daddy’s birthday. That can’t be good, right?”
I pinch my mouth closed to stifle the whimper trying to escape. Tears stream down my cheeks, and my body convulses. She can’t possibly mean anything she’s saying. She likes Adam. I know she does. In a few days, she’ll be over this. It’s just because of today, and what it means to her. Losing my husband was hard. But she lost her dad way too young. Maybe this loss has a stronger hold on her than I thought.
“Mom. Did you hear me?”
“What?”
“I’m not sure I’m ready for this. It’s too soon for me.”
“Okay, sweetheart.” The words barely make it out between my cries. I’m on the verge of completely losing it, and I need to get off the phone. “I gotta go. Call me later.”
I hang up before she has a chance to respond. I can’t do this. I can’t do what she’s asking of me. Adam means too much to me. I can’t let him go.
Time. I just need to give her some time.
Once she gets past this day, she’ll feel better and realize how unreasonable she’s being. She’ll remember all the fun she had with Adam during her visit. The horseback riding and dinner conversations. All those new memories will come back to her, and she’ll be fine.
She has to be because I love him.
CHAPTER 21
ADAM
It’s early when I wake up. Too early, considering how late we stayed up last night. A smile creeps over my face as I recall all the things we did together. Our bodies were so in sync. We knew exactly how to please the other. Being with her is unlike any other sexual relationship I’ve ever had. Maybe it’s our maturity. We’ve both been married before, and neither of us want to play games. We know what we want in bed, and we aren’t afraid to ask for it.
Once our hearts are in the same place, we’ll be perfect together.
I was so afraid I fucked it up last night by blurting out the full extent of my feelings. I think I freaked her out a bit by admitting that I love her. The look on her face was truly filled with mixed emotions. I sensed she wanted to both run and hug me.
I know she feels more for me than she’s willing to admit. I get it. Just like mine, her own heart is at war with itself over her past love and the potential of a new love.
The possibility that she loves me too—or could with a little more time—is there. There’s no way she could make love to me like she did unless she feels something very close to those words, too.
I hear a sobbing sound coming from behind the bathroom door and frown. The door is closed. It wasn’t when we fell asleep.
“Camille?” I call out.
No response.
I slide out of bed, hunt down my boxers, and gently rap on the door. “Camille, are you okay in there?”
I hear a garbled sound that faintly resembles a yes, but I don’t buy it. Something has her seriously upset, and I need to know what.
I try the handle and the door cracks open. “Can I come in?”
She doesn’t answer me. Instead, I hear more sobs, and I can’t take another moment of it. I open the door to find her curled up on the floor next to the tub.
I move to hug her, but she swats me away. I close my eyes—my arms screaming to hold her, and my hands itching to soothe her. Her rejection stings.
I kneel next to her, taking care not to touch her. I don’t know what has her so upset. I don’t want to add to it, but at the same time it's killing me not to hold her. “Talk to me, Cami. Please.”
She shakes her head, her tears puddling on the floor beneath her. She looks so frail and defeated. So unlike the brave and strong Camille I’ve fallen in love with. Whatever has her upset is huge. I hate that she isn’t talking to me.
