“I’m going to kiss you.” It isn’t a question. He isn’t asking me for permission. Adam knows what he wants, and he’s about to take it. I like this demanding, take charge, possessive way about him. It’s hot, and makes my entire body ache for more of him.
I tilt my head up and gasp when his lips join mine.
Unlike our first kiss, this is hard and all-consuming. I’m powerless to stop him. Hell, I don’t want to stop him. I want more of him. I part my lips, and he wastes no time sliding his tongue against mine.
His hands slide down my back and around my ass. Without breaking our kiss, he lifts me into him. I wrap my legs around hiswaist and tighten my arms around his neck. Within seconds, he has me pressed against the wall, and his hips grind against me. I feel every single inch of his excitement straining against the tightness of his jeans.
My body throbs and aches to free him, to feel him sink deep inside me and make me feel good. Just thinking about how good he’ll feel primes my body for a release.
But I need to take this slow. I can’t let this go too far, or I’ll ruin it by breaking down or freaking out over guilt I shouldn’t feel anymore. I need more time to get out of my head and live in the moment. I’ll probably regret this later tonight, but I have to stop him before I screw everything up.
“Adam,” I breathe. “I need this to go slow.”
He lightly kisses my forehead, and when I don’t pull away, he continues. He gently kisses one cheek and then the other before he cups my face.
“We can go as slow as you need.” He holds his gaze on me while he lightly brushes his lips across mine. It’s so soft and gentle, I hardly feel it. It’s so unlike the hard, intense kiss we just shared.
He lets me go, slowly releasing me until I’m standing on my own. With one final kiss, he turns to leave. He pauses at the door and glances over his shoulder with a heated gaze. “I’ll wait for you. However long it takes.”
Then, he’s gone.
I slump against the wall, my legs suddenly too weak to hold me up. My breathing is heavy, and my head is dizzy. A part of me can’t believe I stopped him from taking that further. But another part of me knows slowing down is the right move on my part.
If we move too fast, I might shut down completely. And I’m done shutting down. I’m done letting my loss and pain make all my decisions for me. I want to live my life for me again. As muchas I hate to admit it, I need to take my mother’s advice and let myself heal.
I want to be happy and allow myself to find comfort in another man’s arms.
And I want that man to be Adam.
CHAPTER 11
ADAM
It’s a little before seven in the morning as I walk into Sweet Cakes. I’ve made a habit of arriving at Camille’s house before the crew with fresh coffee and pastries. We’ll spend a few moments eating breakfast together and enjoying each other's company before she starts writing and I start renovating. I love this private time we’ve carved out of our workdays.
It’s become our thing.
Camille and I have fallen into a comfortable pattern these past two weeks. I was afraid things would get awkward between us after I pressed her against the wall in her foyer and kissed her like I was trying my damnedest to mark her as mine. If she hadn’t put the brakes on things, I’m not sure I would have stopped. As soon as my lips connected with hers, I wanted more. All I meant to do was kiss her. But as soon as my mouth claimed hers, I was a goner.
She tasted so damn good.
There’s nothing I want more than a repeat of that kiss. And thank fuck, she hasn’t pulled away like she did after our first kiss. She seeks me out, and we steal little moments throughout the day to just be together. We’ve shared a few more kisses, but nothing as intense and hot as that night.
Sometimes I get the sense she has something to tell me. Like there’s something deeper on her mind, but she can’t ever seem to get the words out. She’ll stare at me, get all flustered, and then mumble. Usually something likenever mindorI can’t do this yet. Then she’ll walk away. It’s frustrating, but also makes me want to wrap her up in my arms and hold her until whatever is bothering her goes away.
I’m absolutely crazy for Camille. I can’t deny it any longer, at least not to myself. And that scares me.A lot. I’m not sure she’s equally as crazy about me. I’ve no doubt we share a mutual attraction for each other—and our chemistry is intense—but she hesitates. Her loss is still holding her back. She’s trying, and that’s enough at this point. Maybe I’m being an ass by making my intentions known. But I don’t want to walk away from her. I’m already in too deep and need to see where this leads.
But my heart is still fragile, too. It’s been years since Irene left me, but it still stings. I lost everything I really wanted in life when she left.
Despite that loss, my life is good. I’m close to my siblings, and with any luck, they’ll produce lots of offspring, and I’ll be the world’s greatest uncle. Just like I am to Matt’s daughter, Emmie. My life may not have turned out like I planned, but I’ve made the best of it and found a new kind of happiness.
But no matter what I tell myself, that happiness isn’t enough. Kids or no kids, having a woman by my side will make it even better. I just hope I’m not setting myself up for more pain where Camille is concerned.
“Here you go, darling.” Rachel sets two coffees and a box filled with pastries on the counter. “I put in a couple extra chocolate croissants since I didn’t have any yesterday. I know those are Cami’s favorite.” She winks, dragging a smile out of me.
“Thanks. She’ll appreciate that.”
“How’s the renovation coming along? I haven’t seen Cami all week to ask.”
