“So I did the only think I felt like I could do. I shut myself away in Ashton Castle. I didn’t go back to school. I didn’t go into town. I didn’t even go to the funeral, not that his father would have wanted me there even if I had wanted to go.”
“How can you say rhat? Of course he would!”
Christopher scoffed. “You don’t understand. I am not the only one who blamed myself for Alexander’s death. He blamed me too, and why wouldn’t he? I could have saved him. If I had been faster, if I had done things differently, I could have done it, but I didn’t. I failed, and he died because of that. Of course his father blames me. Why shouldn’t he?”
“Because it isn’t your fault,” Veronica said with such conviction it stunned him into silence. “You did everything you could. Was it enough to save him, no, but that doesn’t make you responsible. You tired, and you did save someone. I would be dead if it weren’t for you.” Her voice softened. “You have up so much just to make that happen. It isn’t right to blame yourself.”
“Then who do you think I should blame? Who should his father blame?”
“I think you should both focus on trying to be happy and have a life he would be happy to see you living now.”
“I’m trying now, but its hard for it not to feel like abandoning him.”
She shook her head firmly. “It isn’t about forgetting him, it’s about taking your memory of him and moving forward.”
“I will try, but understand it will take me time.”
“I can understand that, and it isn’t about changing everything all at once. It’s just about finding something that makesa you happy.”
He looked away, “Perhaps it is time I try something new. What do you say you teach me to do some of the embroidery you do?”
“What?” Veronica laughed. “Why would you want to do something like that?”
“Why wouldn’t I? You did say I should try new things.”
She laughed. “I didn’t mean you should try women’s work! But… i suppose it might be a good idea. Give me just a moment to gather my things.”
She returned a moment later with a reticule she was working on. “I was doing some roses along the edge.”
“Why don’t you show me how you do one first, then I can give it a try?”
A few moments later, she took a seat beside him, she went slowly, making sure to explain each step as she went. When she was done she handed it over to him to see it.
Christopher ran his fingers along the small, neat stitches. He hesitated. “If mine doens’t turn out well, will it ruin the piece?”
“You don’t need to worry about that. Even if it doesn’t turn out well, there’s nothing you can do that I won’t be able to fix.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about it.”
“If I can teach Milly, I can teach you.”
He chuckled. “Very well, if you are sure.” He hesitated a moment more before pulling off his glove.
Veronica’s eyes darted away. Her breath caught in her throat. She didn’t know why she was so surprised. Of course he would have to take his gloves off to use the needle. It was far too delicate to work with through the thick leather.
She didn’t want to seem like she was staring, but she needed to look to help him try his hand at embroidery. So, she took a deep breath and turned her focus to the work in his hands.
She helped guide him through the steps with the gentle patience someone only learned from having to teach a younger sibling.
When he had finished his frist rose, Christopher handed it to her to look over.
Veronica ran her fingers over the stitches with an approving smile. “I must admit, you did better than I thought you would.”
He rolled his eyes, a smile on his face. “Somehow I doubt that’s saying much. Besides, it still looks so sloppy nextt to your work.”
“Only because it’s your frist one. You could become rather good at it if you had some more practice.”
“I can’t help but feel like you are being too kind.”
