Whilst he was gathering all his shit, I stood and walked over to the cabinet where we squirreled the booze and pot. His hint that someone could be waiting to make a play for Harper pissed me off.
“Is that a good idea when you have college tomorrow? Coach Samuels will be busting our balls to get us ready for the next game,” Hudson warned. It didn’t stop me from opening the door and grabbing the half-empty bottle of Jack. The fill line was exactly where I had left it the previous night.
Turning back towards him, I boasted. “Samuels can’t afford to bench me so early in the season.” I was only a junior, but I was still the biggest linebacker on the team. He had a point, though, as I had to be up early so I didn’t miss my first period. I was studying for a Sports Coaching Degree, and had Exercise Science, which I loved.
“Just go easy on that shit, I’m leaving early in the morning, and if you’re not up, I’ll go without you,” Hudson threatened. Like I gave a shit, it only took ten minutes to walk to our college campus.
Leaving early, my ass, if he was having Molly over for the night, there wouldn’t be much sleeping. I knew all about that, his room being next to mine. The noises those two made would get anyone going. To stop myself from riding someone else's wave of excitement, I’d lie in bed thinking about things to gross me out; Ma naked, Reed naked, Hudson naked, you get where I’m going with that. I wasn’t into voyeurism of any type, and that included the pornographic shit we watched. I preferred being in the picture personally when getting off.
I decided to reveal the reason I needed Dutch courage. “Don’t worry, I’ll be ready. I just need a nip to take the edge off. Tonight’s the night, brother.”
He was standing in the doorway to the den, and his shoulders stiffened.
“Tonight’s the night for what exactly?”
“To find out about my past.” I didn’t need to add to that, and realization spread over my brother’s face.
“So, you’re actually going to open it?” He asked, his eyes latched onto mine.
A sense of foreboding washed over me, but I plowed on. Nodding, I pointed the rim of the bottle towards him. “Yeah, man. It’s time.”
“Good for you. I’ll keep my phone on. You need me, holler,” he replied, patting his jeans pocket.
And then he left, high-tailing it out of there like his ass was on fire. Leaving me with my vented decision alone. But of course, he’d clearly been summoned by wifey. God forbid he was two minutes late to fetch Molly. Where getting to his girl was concerned, everything else was second place. You could shoot the fucker in the dick, and he’d still make sure he was on time for her.
Uncapping the bottle, I took a drink, enjoying the burn of the liquid as it hit my throat. The liquor instantly calmed me. My head was a cocktail of raw emotions as I made my way to my room, whereitsat waiting for me.
On our eighteenth birthday, Ma had given us all a manila folder. It was a file from the foster agency and contained details about our backgrounds. When I had first been given mine, I had decided I didn’t want to know about my past. What was the point? All that mattered now was my future and moving forward. Reading about that shit part of my life would only take me backwards, surely?
But now I had accepted that it was time to learn about my roots and what happened to me. I could only ever remember life in the system, and that was pretty shitty. Knowing my backstory before then could only be worse. Hence, my second thoughts.
And now, I had decided that the time had come to deal with it. If you didn’t exercise your demons, they continued to haunt you. That much I knew. I could see them circling Harper. She, too, hadn’t dealt with her past. But then she didn’thave her file yet, as she wasn’t eighteen until the following year. I needed to sort my shit out first to allow myself the mind capacity to support her when her time came. The moment she would need to face her past.
And, out of all my brothers, I was the only one who knew what that looked like. I had witnessed Harper's scars both inside and out; her story was a proper monster.
A pulse of something sharp ran through me as I thought about what she had been through.
Once I had squared things with the house on my side, it would be time for Harper to take the plunge and revisit hers.
And although she didn’t know it yet, when the time came, I would be there to catch her. Although she played the tough act, I knew Harper was still that scared little girl who used to run away from monsters. And I would be there to fuck up every single one of them.
But first, I needed to get my head on straight and deal with my forgotten past.
So, I used the term ‘square’ things. I didn’t know it just then, but my entire life was about to be flipped upside down.
THREE
HARPER
“Phoenix kissed me.”
“What!?” Molly spat, spraying a mouthful of Coke onto my carpet. I grimaced down at the offending wet patch.
“Nice.”
Spitting soda onto the floor proved how surprised she was by the news, considering Mols was the ultimate lady; the opposite of me. I’d never even heard her belch, and farting was probably a foreign concept to her.
“Sorry,” she gasped, drying her chin clumsily with her fingers. I hid my smile. She was always so pristine, never a hair out of place; it was nice to see her ruffled for once.
