Pulling out a tissue from the box on my nightstand, I passed it over. “It’s not like it sounds,” I assured her. I could see from that twinkle in her eyes that Mols believed I had just shared the second juiciest piece of gossip since school started. The first titbit was about Shelly Dandridge giving Spencer Harris a blowjob under the bleachers last Friday night. Spencer was the school football team's glorified quarterback, and everyone thought he was gay. Some suspected he’d manufactured the oral affair to ward off the rumors. Gay guys in school were accepted. Gay guys onthe teamwere not. Backward, I know.
It had been a few days since the kiss, and I still found it hard to process. Phoenix and I hadn’t spoken about it. Not that there had been an opportunity, as I’d hardly seen him, and when I had, the others were there.
At first, I had been annoyed and felt like he was avoiding me, but then I realized that it was for the best. He was drunk when he kissed me and may have gotten more wasted afterward, and so there was a chance he didn’t even remember it. That thought still made me sad.
“So, what happened?” Molly giggled excitedly, crossing her legs and placing her soda behind her. I hated to dispel her illusions that there was a spark between Phoenix and me when it was, in fact, a case of mistaken identity.
Molly and I were hanging out in my room, listening to music, and talking about clothes. At least, Molly was. I was pretending to listen whilst worrying about my Physics test. I used to love shopping, but not anymore. There were no hot boys interested in me at school, and I didn’t attend many parties, so why make the effort?
I had attempted to talk to Matt Clean during my second week. He was also a junior, and during the first week, he’d been all over me. Now, a few weeks in, he appeared to be avoiding me, just like all the other boys.
I didn’t understand the sudden lack of interest, especially now that my boobs were bigger. It hadn’t been like that when I was a sophomore. During those days, I’d at least hadsomecontenders.
The one guy I had really liked the previous year was now off limits. Nicholas Creed. The son of Anton Creed and the younger brother of Xander Creed. Anton and Xander were now in prison, serving time for drug dealing, and Nick had moved in with his grandfather. He was now at college, but not at the same one as my brothers. His new guardian had helped him enrol in a school on the other side of Newport.
The Creed family caused some proper shit to go down the previous year, and now I wasn’t allowed to have anything to do with Nick. If I did, I faced the wrath of Hudson and Phoenix. That was some scary shit, it just wasn’t worth it.
Tugging back my thoughts from the past, I delivered the unpalatable truth. “Nix thought I was Courtney Swan.”
“What!?”
Molly shouted so loud that it made my ears ring. “Easy.”
“Sorry,” she whispered. “How the hell did he think you were Courtney? You’re a completely different build.”
I’d asked myself the same thing a million times. The weight of that question still sat heavily on my mind.
“I know,” I replied, pushing myself off my bed and joining Molly on the carpet.
Molly listened, wide-eyed, as I explained what had happened. I left out the bit about me enjoying it. I also missed out the part when Phoenix had threatened that I would take Courtney’s place if I wrecked his hook-up; i.e., the cock sucking part. A thought of what it would be like to take him in my mouth circled the perimeter of my head, but I didn’t allow it inside. Too dangerous.
I mirrored her grossed-out expression when I told her about Phoenix taking Courtney into Micah’s room. Having sex in your brother’s bed was surely breaking the bro-code. I pushed the image of Courtney riding Nix’s dick out of my mind.
As I allowed Molly a breather to soak up my shocking news, I scanned her tiny frame as she sat before me. She was small like me, but with more curves and a decent-sized rack. Mol's naturally white blonde hair was long with a tendency to curl at the ends. Her eyes were as blue as the ocean, and her features wereridiculouslypretty. She even had a smattering of freckles across her nose, whereas I had them all over my body.
Yep, Molly Miller was like a British Barbie in human form, and I had always envied her. To be honest, most girls did. She was also the kindest, sweetest person on the planet; up there with Ma. There wasn’t a hint of a mean girl in her. And she, too, carried a sadness, although you only saw it now and again.
Molly lost her mother in a car crash the previous summer and had been forced to relocate from England to come and live with her father in Rhode Island. It had taken her a while, but she had settled well. Now she had Hudson by her side, theboy who worshipped the ground she walked on. At Harbor Heights High and Epic Heights, they were considered the perfect-looking couple. Almost like celebrities. Barbie and a butch, fucked-in-the-head version of Ken.
“So, have you spoken to him about it since?” Molly asked, cutting into my appraisal. The front door sounded, dragging my gaze away.
“No. Something’s going on with him. I’ve hardly seen him,” I replied truthfully. As I turned back to face her, Molly’s expression was thoughtful. “At dinner last night, he looked troubled, but I didn’t bother to question him. He’s always been guarded about his shit. Even when we were kids.”
Molly sat up straight. “I know why that is. Hudson told me that Phoenix has finally decided to read his agency file. The one with details of his parents and stuff.”
The fact that she knew about something so personal, and I didn’t, stung. But then Nix would have confided in Hudson, their bond appearing to be stronger than ours had been. I brushed off that twinge of jealousy.
So that was why Phoenix was being weird. He’d read his file. The question was, what did he intend to do with that knowledge? Were the details of his birth mother and father in there? I was suddenly swamped with a million questions. I wanted to know more.
“Did Hudson say anything else? Like what was in there?”
Molly pushed to her feet, glancing towards my bedroom door. As I followed her, I pulled a hair band from my jeans pocket and drew my hair up into a messy bun. Preparing myself for study mode. Molly was waiting for Hudson, and once she left, I had another test to prepare for.
“Molly?” I prompted.
She hesitated. “Not really.” I knew that wasn’t the truth. That’s the problem with angelic faces; they can’t lie for shit. I watched as she toyed with the gold M pendant around her neck. It had belonged to Hudson’s mother when she was alive,Melanie Gage. He had given it to Molly on her seventeenth birthday over the summer, and it never left her neck.
Every time I saw it, I was overcome with that urge to take it. Add it to my collection. But I had managed to refrain. You see, as well as my many other issues, I liked to steal shit. I was a jigsaw piece in a misshapen world.
