Lottie
As the sky continued to darken and Lottie felt her body soften against Nate’s the longer he held her, she couldn’t help but feel that they had reached a turning point in their relationship.After the panty melting kiss and her confession that she couldn’t,wouldn’t, be toyed with again, Lottie felt more hopeful that a future between the two of them could exist.Nate admitting to her that he loved her had been both the biggest surprise of the night thus far and also something that Lottie felt liked she’d somehow always known.
It had always been there between them, this combustible force that more often than not burned hotly for brief moments before going dormant for longer periods of time.Was it possible for them to light a flame and keep the love between them burning for years?Lottie hoped so, but just because Nate loved her didn’t mean that he would be able to stop himself from pushing her away again.She wasn’t sure why he did it and was a little afraid to ask, but she’d faced fears before and come out relatively unscathed.
Gazing up at the man who she loved just as much as he claimed to love her, Lottie wet her suddenly dry lips and put voice to the question that had plagued her for years.“Why do you do it, Nathan?”
Nate looked up at the starry sky a second longer before turning to her.His blue eyes were filled with understanding, knowing the reason for her question without her having to explain it.“You scare me, Charlotte.”She leaned away from him, confused, but he wrapped his arm more tightly around her shoulder and pulled her back.“You are this amazingly strong, incredibly thoughtful person, and every time I think I know just how wonderful you are, you surprise me by doing something like making sure there are flowers on the conference table in my office.”
Lottie bit her lower lip.It was something she’d started beginning his first day as mayor, always wanting there to be a welcoming environment for him and anyone else he happened to be meeting with.“How did you find out about that?”She’d made the request to the local florist with the understanding that it would remain anonymous.Clearly Darlene Barton was a bigger gossip than Lottie gave her credit for.
Nate smiled as he shook her lightly.“Jealous that you’re not the only one who can get the scoop?”Apparently Lottie wasn’t the only one who could do something surprising as she never would have guessed Nate could get the woman to talk.
Lottie smirked.“Maybe a little.”She did pride herself in being the first to know what was going on around town, mostly so she had information for her newsletter but also because it made her feel important, like she was an integral part of the community she loved so much.“Mostly I’m annoyed that Darlene told you.I might have to upcharge her the next time she wants to put an ad inLocally Sourced.”
The threat was empty because Lottie took each payment from her customers and spent the money right back in their shops.It was her way of maintaining secrecy about the generosity bestowed on her by Mrs.G while also making sure she wasn’t taking money unnecessarily.
“Go easy on her,” Nate commanded, the smile still on his face.“She put up a good fight, but I told her I wanted to know who bought the blooms so I could thank them properly.”
“Is that what this is?Thanking me for my thoughtfulness?”She gestured between the two of them and the fact that their bodies were plastered up against one another’s.“If I scare you so much, why aren’t you running the other way this time?”
Nate ran his thumb over the back of her hand where it was joined with his.“I don’t know.I guess I finally realized that being scared with you was better than being scared without you.”He smiled sadly as he looked at her.“I’m not sure if I can explain it properly since it’s more a feeling than anything else, but when I’m with you...”he trailed off, sucking air between his teeth.“Nothing else matters.”
Lottie turned to face him fully, not breaking their joined hands because she needed to feel connected to him in at least some small way.Now that she’d gotten so much of him over the last week, she was addicted and couldn’t stand being away from him.“Isn’t that a good thing?”
Nate shrugged.“Is it?”He huffed humorlessly as he ran the backs of his fingers over her cheek.“I would do anything for you, Charlotte.Anything.No limits, no questions.There has never been anyone who has held that kind of power or influence over me, not even my parents.I fought it for so long, afraid that I would lose everything else if I let myself have you, and I’m still afraid of that.”
Lottie gulped, moved by his words even though it sounded like he felt that a relationship between them was a horrible idea.She felt the same way about him as he did her, but it had never scared her.Instead, it was something she wanted to hold onto so badly that anytime he wrenched it away from her, she felt the sting deep in her soul.
“Then why are you here with me now?”
Nate leaned forward and kissed her.Lottie would never know if it was meant to be chaste or not because after his confession of love and that he would do anything for her, she couldn’t stop herself from taking it further.Her tongue danced with his as he cradled her head like it was something precious.She knew now that he thought it was, but how long would that last if he was still afraid?Despite that thought floating in her mind, Nate was the one to break the kiss, putting only inches between them, but it was enough to temporarily undo whatever spell they were constantly falling under.
“I’m here with you now because I recently spent a good chunk of time without having you in my life, and it was more awful than I ever could have imagined.”He inhaled shakily.“I would rather lose myself in you than go without you like that again.I always thought it would be a relief but instead...”
“It was torture?”Nate nodded and she rubbed the back of his neck, the short hair there rubbing against her palm.“I felt that too.”
It had been awful, staying away from him like that, but she’d done it because he’d asked her to.In that moment, Lottie realized that the very thing that scared him about her was what made her give into him as often as she did.She would do anything for Nate, even if that meant harming herself in the process.Her love for him has always been something she’d known about, but apparently it had taken his confession for her to realize just how much.
Before she could tell him her epiphany, Nate shifted and stared into her eyes.“I know it’s asking for more than I deserve, for you to put your faith in me after how I’ve acted, but it would mean a lot to me if you could try.”
Lottie nodded, holding back her declaration to give Nate the time he needed to believe in himself as much as she already did.“I can do that.”Nate smiled and pulled her back into his side, adjusting the blanket over them to keep out the night air that was only getting colder.“So about this public forum...”
Nate barked a laugh and held her closer.“You never were one to let me have any down time.”The smile he shined down on her was enough to warm Lottie down to her toes.“Do you remember the nights we’d be up late working on the paper?I’d try to sneak into the darkroom for a power nap and you would always come in, flip the lights on, and toss me a bag of gummy bears saying ‘eat up, Mister Editor, we’ve got a paper to put to bed.’”He smiled fondly at her.“Drove me crazy.”
Lottie smiled as she leaned against him.“It was no worse than you telling me that we needed to redo the Homecoming decorations because they weren’t ‘on theme.’”
Nate bumped her with his shoulder.“In my defense, in no way are cardboard cutouts of the members of One Direction related to City Lights.”Lottie snorted, remembering the way cardboard Harry Styles stood out like a sore thumb.
“Their concerts are held in the city,” she argued, smiling when he shook his head.Lottie hadn’t even been that much of a fan of the boy band but had capitulated to a few of the other student council members who were.“Fine.Agree to disagree.”
Smiling, Nate kissed her cheek.“Deal.”He looked back at her from the corners of his eyes.“In all honesty, I was just kind of jealous of the way you looked at them.I’ve never been more envious of a member of a boy band than I had been in that moment.”
Lottie reached up and cupped his cheek, drawing his gaze back to hers.“You had nothing to worry about.You’ve always been far more attractive than anyone else I’ve ever known.”
Nate scoffed, but the longer she stared at him, the more he seemed to believe her.“Same.”Lottie continued to hold him, so tempted to lean in and give him another kiss but knowing that if she did, they would never get anything done, and the project that was so important to him had become increasingly important to her.
Standing, Lottie reached down and offered him her hand.“Let’s go work inside.It’s cold out and it’s giving us too much of an excuse to use each other for warmth.”
