“Wow. Not what I was expecting you to say.” She blinks, processing. “Really? Still? Like, no experience or just not the big deed?”
“Just not the big deed,” I say with a small laugh. “And there’s this guy. I like him. A lot. But I’m really bad at going after what I want.”
Bonnie leans back against the seat with a softhmm.
“Aunt Ruby always says a lady shouldn’t chase after a man.”
I roll my eyes. “Ruby also says if you put garlic in your bra you won’t get sick.”
Bonnie snorts. “Fair point.”
We sit in silence for a moment.
“I don’t know,” I finally say. “I thought he wanted me. But now it’s just messy.”
Bonnie tilts her head. “Does he know how you feel?”
I shrug, fingers twisting in my lap. “He’s had signs. Smoke signals. Highway billboards. A mouthful of clues.”
“Maybe he’s stupid.”
“Or scared.”
“Or both.” She bumps my shoulder gently. “You’re not bad at going after what you want, Phern. You’re just afraid you’re gonna get hurt doing it.”
My throat tightens. She’s not wrong.
“I’m tired of feeling like an option,” I whisper.
Bonnie doesn’t answer. Just reaches over and squeezes my hand.
“You’re not,” Bonnie says again, voice quiet but certain. “And maybe the key is to move on. If he’s the one, he’ll do the chasing.”
I swallow. “And if he’s not?”
“Then you’ll keep moving on,” she says, like it’s simple, but there’s a flicker of something in her eyes. A tinge of hurt that says she’s speaking from experience. That she’shadto.
It makes me want to ask. But I don’t.
Instead, I reach for the door handle. “Thanks for giving me a ride.”
“Any time,” she says, smiling, though it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Now, I better get back to Aunt Ruby’s place. She’s been real sad since Lura passed away.”
I pause, heart twisting. “We all miss her.”
Bonnie nods, blinking hard as she turns the key in the ignition.
“Yeah. She’s been trying to act like she’s okay, but you know Ruby. Stubborn as a fence post. I think she’s holding on by distracting herself. She’s taken up knitting again, so the entire town better be prepared to for uneven scarves.”
I reach over and squeeze her hand. “If she needs anything—ifyoudo—just call, okay?”
Bonnie gives me a grateful smile. “Same goes, Phern. And don’t be a stranger. I’ve missed hanging out with you.”
I stand outside the Knot and Spur for a minute after she leaves, the evening air cool against my skin, the ache in my chest quieting just enough to breathe again.
If he’s the one, he’ll do the chasing.
And if not maybe I’ll be okay anyway.
