To her astonishment, she was tempted to accept. He was a man accustomed to living outside of theton’s expectations. If she could confide her plans and anticipate a response in the positive, she would gladly take the protection of his name…and the regular comfort of his body.
She blinked again, refocusing her thoughts.But that look in his eyes. He didn’t wish to be married, did he?Oh, Lord. Disappointment trickled down her spine like a bucket of frigid water. The man had proposed out of a sense of duty. Now that he knew of her true identity, he felt obligated to offer his hand, for God knew he hadn’t intended to marry after theirfirstcoupling.
With a dejected flick of her wrist, Juliana righted her skirts and sat up, all feelings of delight after their intimacy gone in the face of hisduty.
“I thank you for your generous offer, Leo,” she replied brusquely, “but I do not intend to marry.”
CHAPTER20
Head still reeling from the sensational bedding, Leo forced himself to pay attention to Juliana’s facial expressions. Shock widened her slate-and-green eyes as she scanned his face, taking him in as though searching for the feeling behind his words.
To his great astonishment, hope blossomed in his chest. Did hewantto marry Juliana? The question had slipped out, but in that moment, he’d realized the protection that their matrimonial state could provide her—most particularly if their coupling resulted in pregnancy.
Now that he had a moment to consider his impetuous proposal, however, he rather liked the idea. He enjoyed her company and knew that he would never tire of bedding her.
She righted her skirts and sat up. “I thank you for your generous offer, Leo, but I do not intend to marry.”
Pain jolted through his chest and he rose, as well, returning his softening cock to his breeches. “Might I askwhyI am rejected?”
“Do not insult my intelligence. I am aware that you asked out of a sense of duty.” She stood and paced to the washbasin.
“It was an impulse,” he admitted. “But I do not regret it. I believe that you and I would be a good match.”
She performed a perfunctory wash and spun to face him. “Be truthful: you do not wish to sire a bastard.”
“Of course I do not wish to sire a bastard!” He raked his hands through his hair, cursing himself again for the whim of cutting it. “I must express my regret at not taking precautions while bedding you, but…” His voice trailed away, his lips thinning.
Hurt flared on her face, and an answering ache knotted in his chest. He was not a good match foranyone, so why should her rejection cut so deeply?
He remained there for several heartbeats, hating the pain tingling through him. Hell, he’d gotten himself too deep. He needed to put some distance between them.
“I’m going to the taproom,” he ground out. “If you require me, I shall be there. If not, I will return later.”
Not waiting for her to respond, Leo turned on his heel, gathered his coat, and stalked out the door. Retreating was cowardly, but Juliana likely desired solitude just as much as he. Being in her presence forced him tofeelthings that he simply wished not to. And,Christ, the room still smelled of sex.
The taproom was one floor below, humming with the low buzz of conversation. Very few tables were occupied, and Leo took one against the wall nearest a blazing hearth, suppressing a groan of pain as he sat.
Their ride had been long, cold, and punishing, and whatever energy surge had fuelled his sex had now fled. He was exhausted.
The taproom maid caught his eye across the room, and he inclined his head, signalling that he wanted to order.
Within minutes, Leo was swallowing down a mouthful of ale. He replaced his tankard on the roughened tabletop and wiped absently at the foam on his upper lip, inwardly groaning. It had been years since he’d partaken, and yet despite the familiar warmth in his abdomen, the drink did nothing to dull the ache in his chest.
Juliana had rejected him. Marriage wasn’t something that he should want. He ought to have been pleased at the course their passions had taken: he was able to satisfy his lust for the woman but was not forced into matrimony as a result. And yet…he felt distinctly ill about it.
He took another swig of his ale and coughed.
For some ungodly reason, a part of Leonard had actuallywantedher to agree to his proposal.That was hardly a proposal, old man, his inner voice rebuked. He supposed that he could have made some sort of declaration, but he did not think that Juliana would require such things—most particularly after what they’d done. And it felt dishonest to flout poetry or some such nonsense when he wasn’t that sort of man.
Sighing, he ran his fingertip over the tankard’s handle, taking note of every dent and chip. Whatever the reasoning or method of his proposal, it had been a monumental blunder. He wished that Percy were there to tell him what a fool he was and set him back on the path of logic. For right at that moment, Leo wished only to return to his rented room and fall asleep with Juliana in his arms.
* * *
Hair dryingin a mass of unruly curls down her back, Juliana sat at the room’s small table and loaded her pistol. The tray containing her meal had been pushed aside to allow her space, the food sitting heavily in her anxious stomach. After the inn’s staff had brought up the bath, Juliana had made haste with her washing and donned a frock rather than a night rail. Lord knew she would likely require a swift escape, and that was most expedient.
Leo’s indignation at her refusal rankled. She had every right to refuse him, and she would not be cowed by the fear of impregnation. The topic was a firm reminder, however, that she must take care from then on, for with her current aspirations, she could not afford to get with child. But whatever might happen, she would find a way to live this dream.
Indeed, once she’d heard Grace Huntsbury’s proposition, Juliana knew it was the right course for her. No matter what was occurring in her life now, she knew where she belonged. It was for that reason that when she reached London, she was not going directly to Jasper. She would secure her future by completing her rendezvous with Grace. Only then would she demand answers from her brother.
