The season of goodwill was in full swing outside the department store. The Christmas lights were on and the store fronts were bursting with giant bows and bunches of poppy-red holly. Outside Maccie’s, the local butcher, a blow-up Santa bobbed, along with three reindeer. Over the past few days, the snow had been obliging when it came to creating just the right atmosphere and it was lightly falling now, as though dusting everything with icing sugar.
She felt furtive as she climbed into a taxi from the rank outside the one and only hotel in the town. She had time to think as the taxi purred towards Dublin centre. Did it help? Did it calm her? Nothing could stop the steady spiral of bewilderment and confusion that underplayed the biting disappointment, hurt and the sinking feeling that she had made the same mistake all over again.
They approached the city and the explosion of festive lights took her breath away. A giant Christmas tree dominated the square outside an enormous store, decorated with over-sized ornaments in shades of red, green and gold. People were everywhere, scurrying like ants, clutching bags and heavily bundled up in coats and scarves, their breath visible in the cold winter air as they breathed out. Light flurries of snow barely collected on the glistening pavements. There was a Christmas market on and she could smell the spiced aroma of mulled wine and mince pies.
Her stomach clenched with sudden tension as the taxi slowed in front of the hotel. Outside the lights were delicate, gossamer-thin lacy webs stretching elegantly across the façade. Two liveried men stood on either side of imposing glass doors and sprang into action as soon as she approached.
She breathed in sharply when she spotted Rocco sitting on one of the sofas at the back of the room. The gorgeous, lavish decorations, the elegant tree discreetly positioned by the bar, the massive vases stuffed with poinsettias, chrysanthemums and amaryllis all faded as her mouth went dry and her heart began to pound.
Jose and Rocco merged into one man, sinfully sexy…and breathtakingly beautiful.
She walked briskly towards him and it was only when she was standing in front of him that he looked up from what he was doing on his phone and stood to greet her.
‘Ella.’
Rocco had sensed her but only looked up when she cast a shadow over him. Sprawled on the sofa, he’d sucked in a sharp breath as their eyes had tangled, and for a few seconds he’d been catapulted back to when they’d been lovers. To that taste of freedom, releasing part of him that had been completely authentic. He was too level-headed to be seduced into thinking that could have lasted for ever but it had still lodged inside him like a burr.
He’d gone past the shock. As he’d waited for her, his brain had begun to whirr along more practical lines. The end objective remained the same: marriage. With that in mind, he would feel out the lay of the land and, if she dug in her heels, then he would persuade her in whatever other ways it took. Getting lost in what had happened would have to be put on ice because where would it get either of them?
He had to break through her disillusionment. He would be businesslike in his approach. His views on marriage, on love, on the relevance of emotions, were so deeply ingrained that when he thought about marrying her it was exclusively on a no choice basis. He wasn’t a man who fled in the face of responsibility. They’d had fun but she had never been on his radar foranything long term. Now that he was going to be in it for the long haul—even though she didn’t know that yet—he felt it was important that he first got her on side and, second, clarified the parameters.
He would be a loyal husband and a dutiful father. He knew the value of responsibility. His uncle had set a terrible example of how to waste a life away. No flights of fancy or self-delusion for Rocco. As cold a parent as he was, his father had done what had to be done when it came to taking the mess his brother had left behind and dealing with it. He had been able to do that because he’d had the right woman by his side. A woman there through arrangement rather than love, brought up in a family in which duty also came first, who had allowed him the time to devote to work. Rocco could scarcely recall his father being around when he’d been growing up. Nor could he recall his equally cool mother ever complaining.
‘A woman who’s demanding is a woman who will drag you down. Look at your uncle. He liked women who wanted his undivided attention; it made him feel wanted. He was a weak man. Pay attention to where that got him.’
Rocco wouldn’t pretend that there would be wild flights of love…although there would certainly be passion. Just thinking about touching her sent him into instant arousal. So, no problems on that front. It would be a better outcome than the icy coldness of his parents’ marriage, even if it could never be what she might want. She thought he was a liar, which was an appellation he found distasteful, but he couldn’t blame her.
As she sat down and faced him, Rocco tried to glean what she was thinking, but the green eyes staring back at him were veiled.
‘Are you hungry?’ he asked. ‘I can order something for us to eat now or we can talk a bit first and eat afterwards.’
‘I’ll have some mince pies to start with.’
‘Mince pies. Would you call thatfood?’
‘My tastes have changed. I crave them.’
He ordered the mince pies and was amused at how enthusiastically she tucked into them when they came.
‘You’re hungry.’
‘Only for mince pies right now. Aren’t you going to have one?’
‘Not my thing. I’ve had time to think,’ he said seriously. ‘It goes without saying that my preferred option here would be for us to marry.’
Ella’s eyebrows shot up but, before she could push back at that, he smoothly continued. ‘But, as you’ve already told me, I’m the last person you would go for.’
‘Yes, because what I want is love. That’s the glue that keeps a family bonded. I don’t want someone to tell me that they’ll put a ring on my finger because together we’ve made a mistake and now there’s a baby on the way! Do you think I’ve lived my life dreaming of the day when I might become someone’s burden? My parents had a wonderful, supportive, loving marriage and that’s something I’ve dreamt of for myself. I see my brother in love with the woman he married, companions and best friends, there for one another. Now you tell me that marriage is thepreferred optionhere! Well, that just sends a shiver of joy through me! I’m guessing you wouldn’t even be sitting here if it weren’t for the fact that you had to do your duty!’
‘I don’thaveto do anything, Ella. Ichooseto be here—and, just for the record,dutyisn’t a dirty word.’
‘And love? Does that get a look in?’
‘Love isn’t a sentiment I recognise.’
‘That’s awful.’
‘I’m thinking about what would be best for our baby. If you find the thought of marriage to me unacceptable, then let’s discuss the practicalities. Where are you living at the moment?’
