‘Yes, you made me feel exciting and daring and…andfree. And you say that I made you feel more relaxed, because with me you were someone else, but that someone else was alie, Rocco! Did you come back here when you didn’t have to because you wanted to take a little time out from being a big shot and you figured I would buy into that because you could pay me?’
‘No!’
‘I didn’t have to tell you about this. I could have kept it to myself. When I found out that you didn’t exist… Well, what sort of manwereyou?’
‘I’ve already explained myself, Ella. Now is the time to move away from that and… I can’t believe what you’ve just told me. You’repregnant?’
‘If you’d told me that you couldn’t be bothered to stay here, couldn’t care about the fate of all the people here—some of whom have worked in this department store for decades—then I think I really would have turned my back on you and kept this thing to myself!’
Rocco stared at her.
Pregnant?This was the last thing he’d expected in a million years. Yes, maybe he’d come back to recapture some of that weird freedom he’d felt when he’d been with her. Maybe he’d wanted to test the ground, see whether the electricity that had surged between them was still there. Had he imagined that he could influence her in some way because now she would know what he was worth? Maybe. He’d never been short of women who were impressed by his vast reserves of wealth.
Was that belief so firmly embedded in him that he had simply tarred her with the same brush without bothering to dig a little deeper? To realise that she was not at all like any of the women he had dated or slept with in the past? He’d been a different man with her and maybe it wasn’t because he’d had a new, assumed identity. He’d been a different man with her because she was a different woman.
Bit by bit, he realised that the issue of the pregnancy—which was still reverberating inside him like a bomb waiting to be fully detonated—would have to take a back seat to all heroutpourings. She was carrying his baby. Not for a single moment did he not believe that fact.
She was also seething with bitterness and resentment. To get to the big thing that needed to be discussed, he would first have to find a way through her hostility.
‘Say that again.’
‘Which bit? The bit where I tell you that you’renothinglike the guy I remember? The bit where I tell you that you did a good job camouflaging yourarrogance, all the better toseduce me?’
‘The bit where you tell me that you felt you had to put me to the test before letting me know that I’m going to be a father!’
Rocco raked his fingers through his hair and buried his head in his hands.
How? How the hell had this happened?He knew; of course he did. They’d made love like two people who had spent a lifetime starved of sex. He’d been careful but there had been times, at least two, when he had stirred in the middle of the night, reached out to feel her warm body next to him and hadn’t been able to resist…
In that carefree bubble, he’d managed to make the ultimate mistake: he’d lost control. He’d spent his entire adult life reminding himself of the dangers of losing control and he’d fallen victim to the very thing he had preached about.
Playing any kind of blame game wasn’t going to do, as he now faced the inescapable truth which was that every plan he’d ever made was dissolving in front of his very eyes. Blame games weren’t going to work and arguing wasn’t going to work.
Right now she was upset and furious with him. That was certainly the last thing he needed because the situation would have to be dealt with calmly and rationally. But he could understand where she was coming from and he wanted to hit something very hard in sheer frustration.
‘Sometimes it’s better for a child to just not know one parent rather than have a parent who doesn’t take an interest. I was brought up in a very happy family unit. What would it have felt like if I’d thought that my dad had chosen not to have anything to do with me? If he’d known of my existence and then decided that I wasn’t worth the effort? If you’d been prepared to walk away without a backward glance because you wouldn’t be getting what you came here for, then you would have been that man. Maybe you still are. Maybe thereisno Jose underneath the Rocco.’
‘How the hell can you make a judgement like that?’ But Rocco knew how. He’d set in chain a sequence of consequences and, whilst he knew that he wasn’t to blame, he could see how she might view the situation through a different lens.
And yet, for him, there could be only one solution to the mess in which they now found themselves: marriage. The thought of any child of his being illegitimate was beyond acceptable.
‘When you suddenly find that you’re going to have a baby, your brain gets very sharp.’
‘I can’t have this conversation here, Ella.’
He moved to grab his coat, which he had slung over the back of a chair. It was black cashmere, as soft as butter.
‘Would it make a difference where we have this conversation?’
‘When this store opens, people will be coming and going. We’ll be interrupted non-stop. We can’t huddle in the corner talking about this…this…’
‘Nightmare?’
‘Don’t put words into my mouth. What happened, happened, and resorting to sarcasm isn’t going to change that. We are still where we are, and where we are demands a solution. This is a shock for me, so expect a shocked reaction.’
Dark, cool eyes collided with narrowed green ones. Ella scowled and looked away. He moved towards the door and she followed suit, first telling him that she had to fetch her coat.
‘I’ll meet you outside,’ Rocco said. ‘At this stage, maybe leaving together might raise one or two eyebrows. I don’t care, but you might.’
