“I’ll be almost four hours away.”
He tenses. “And?”
“And realistically, we’d only be able to see each other at weekends.” Everything inside me screams to sayyes, but my head knows how hard long-distance can be on an established relationship, let alone a fledgling one like ours.
“You can say no. If you’d rather end this when you leave, then you’re allowed to want that.”
“I don’t want that. But—” I break off, not wanting to voice my fears out loud. Not when we’re tucked up against each other like this.
“But what?” He kisses me again. “It’s okay, Charlie. I want to know how you’re feeling, no matter what that is.”
I reach for his hand, entwining our fingers, needing the contact. “I’m worried that this feeling will fade when I leave here. That once we get a little space, a littleperspective, things won’t feel so intense, so...”
“Right? Perfect? Like we’re meant to be?” He whispers the words, but they hit like a sledgehammer because,yes, that’s exactly how it feels. And how is that possible after only three weeks? When I don’t say anything, he sighs but pulls me closer instead of pushing me away. “I don’t believe the way I feelabout you will change just because we’re no longer in such close proximity. I like you a whole fucking lot, Charlie.”
“I like you too.”Morethan like you. But saying that would be cruel.
“How about this,” he offers, and I’m all ears. “Go home. Take all the time you need to decide if what we have is real, if it’s something you want to keep and strengthen instead of letting go.”
I swallow thickly, heart hammering in my chest. “And if I do want that? What then?” Because I’m still not seeing a solution here.
“Then we work it out. Together.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
That startles a laugh out of him. “Oh, I know it won’t be easy; far from it.” He tilts my chin until we’re facing each other, and I get lost in the depth of blue eyes that hold so much promise that I want to believe every word he’s saying. “But nothing worthwhile ever is.”
PETE
Saturday morning bringswith it a beautiful winter’s day. Blue sky dotted with fluffy white clouds and air crisp enough to mist your breath. A morning I’d love under any other circumstance.
Charlie puts the last of his bags in the boot of his car and closes it. The click of the lock sounds final in a way I hate. “That’s everything.”
“Not quite.” He looks confused until I hand him the book he lent me, what seems like months ago but is probably not even two weeks. “Here.”
His eyes widen as he takes it from me. “You finished it?”
“I did.” I smile despite myself. “Loved every word, even if it made me jump at every fucking sound my old house makes.”
He grins, clearly delighted by that. “Thank you.”
“No.” I shake my head. “Thankyou. For trusting me with something that means so much to you.”
A blush colours his cheeks and he ducks his head. “You’re welcome.”
I don’t want to do this. Don’t want to say goodbye to someone who has slotted so easily into my life. But unfortunately, I still have Christmas trees to sell to last-minute decorators, and Charlie has his own life to get back to. A life that isn’there.
Cooper chooses that moment to come outside. I know for a fact that Charlie’s already said goodbye to him about five times, not that Cooper has any idea Charlie won’t be around anymore. Won’t be there to cuddle up with on my sofa.
Fuck, the thought of that chokes me up a little and I have to look away as Charlie crouches down to greet him.
“Hey,” he coos, and Cooper’s tail swishes happily. “I’m gonna miss you.” There’s a hitch in his voice and I feel it deep in my chest. This is fuckingawful.
Whose idea was it to get involved with someone who was never going to stay?
Oh, right, that would be me.
Do I regret it?
