Now it’s my turn to apologise.
“I’m sorry.” I hold out my hand, a thrill running through me when he doesn’t hesitate to take it. “I guess I’m a little excited about this.”
“Me too,” he murmurs, and we start walking again, at a normal pace this time. “We’ve waited nineteen years, Vic. A little longer won’t kill us.”
I’m not so sure about that, especially with the look he flashes my way. But I swallow it down and take a breath. There’s more to Sean than broad shoulders and a thick cock, and I want to know all of him.
“So,” I say, giving in to the urge to swing our hands. I’m like a little kid at Christmas, but to be fair, Sean is like the best present. “Tell me what a National Park Ranger does.”
Sean glances at me, eyebrow raised. “You really want to know?”
“Yes.” I tug him close this time, but the kiss is fleeting because I really do want to know what he does for a living. “I have visions of you driving all over in a fancy Jeep, looking all hot and rugged, and rescuing travellers in distress.”
He laughs, loud and happy, and it’s exactly what I’m hoping for. I get the feeling his arsehole ex didn’t have much interest in his life here, and I want to show him I’m not that guy. Even if we don’t take this any further, I think I want to keep Sean in my life and I want him to know it.
“It’s not as glamorous as that, believe me.”
I nudge him with my shoulder. “But you love it, right?”
His smile is instant. “I do. Even when it’s pissing it down and I’m up to my ears in mud, I wouldn’t change it for anything.” He lets go of my hand and spreads his arms out wide, turning in a slow circle. “I was gutted when I couldn’t return to London to finish my degree. I hated it here, hated what it had cost me. It took me a while to come to terms with everything that had changed, to finally accept that it wasn’t the end of the world. Circumstances change, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. My mum suggested I try being a volunteer Ranger as a way to get me outside. And I loved it.” He reaches for my hand again and we start walking. “So I trained to become a Ranger proper, and I’ve never looked back.”
He spends the next fifteen minutes or so telling me about some of the many things he does all in a day’s work. From fixing bridges and stiles to working with the local schools and tourist information centres. No two days the same, and I’m fascinated by it all. I can’t believe that someone who got to see this side of him, who got to see how passionate he is about his job and the area his work covers, could ever be anything other than in awe.
We’ve come to a stop, and he puts his hands on my shoulder, gently turning me back the way we’ve come. The trail has been steadily climbing, and now that I look back, I can see... “Is that your house?”
“Yep.” Up here we’re surrounded by wild open spaces. It’s cold, but the sky is a vibrant blue, the winter sun shining in all its glory. I can easily see the appeal of living somewhere like this. The crisp air, clear of city fumes, stings my cheeks, but it’s fresh and invigorating, and despite wanting to get Sean back to his house and naked, I’m thoroughly enjoying being out here with him.
“Ready to go back?” He steps close, warm breath tickling my ear as he leans in. “I think Lucky’s had enough exercise.”
“I think I have too.” I mean, I’ve had enough walking, but then I catch Sean’s raised eyebrows and I realise how that sounds.
He grins. “Oh? I hope I’ve not tired you out.”
“Nope.” I shake my head and tug his hand to get him moving. “I’m full of energy.” He laughs. “Sooomuch energy.”
We’re both grinning like idiots as we head back down the hill.
As his house gets closer, my heart rate picks up. It’s not nerves, exactly... or maybe it is. Sean Richmond has been an unattainable fantasy for the best part of nineteen years. And now I’m here with him, and if my luck holds, I’m about to see a whole lot more of him.
What if I’ve built this up into something that it can’t possibly live up to? What if I don’t measure up to his expectations either?
By the time we reach Sean’s front gate, my pulse is racing and I’m suddenly hot under all my layers.
“You okay?” Sean puts a hand on my arm as we reach his door, and whatever’s on my face right now makes him say gently, “We can just have a coffee if you want. Then I’ll take you home.” He’s serious, no sign of irritation or impatience, and it has the effect of a Valium on my nerves.
My shoulders relax, tension draining out of me because he’s right. As much as I want this, there’s no pressure if I change my mind. Or if he does. “I’m good.” My smile comes easy, and Sean must sense the change because he nods once and lets us in.
Lucky rushes past us to his bowl in the kitchen, water splashing around his feet as he drinks like he’s been in the desert for weeks.
Sean tsks. “Watch you don’t slip where he’s dribbled.” He’s hanging his coat up and kicking off his boots, so I do the same.
Then we’re both stood there, staring at one another, and the awkward tension floods back in. There’s a reason I’m shit at one-nighters, and this is it. Kissing Sean in the car park, then in his car, was easy because it wasn’t planned. It just happened.
But this is different.
We both know what we’ve come back here for, and for whatever reason, my confidence has fled the scene and I’m not sure how to act. I scrub a hand over my face, a quiet laugh escaping because—for fuck’s sake. We’re two grown men who want each other. How hard can it be? That makes me grin like the adolescent I obviously am, and I drop my hand to find Sean grinning back at me.
“It’s like we’re nineteen all over again.”
