It’s full to bursting with ornaments.
Coloured fairy lights slowly fade in and out and tinsel sparkles amongst the branches.
It’s the best Christmas tree I’ve ever seen.
Hailey sighs and rests her head on my shoulder. “I wish Char was here.”
I hug her close. “Why don’t you take a photo and send it to her.”
Joe shakes his head. “Photos are never as good as seeing it in person. Why don’t you FaceTime her.”
Haley brightens at that. “Oh, I could, couldn’t I?”
I hustle Joe upstairs while Haley makes her call. There are a few bits of bedroom furniture that still need putting together, so Joe and I busy ourselves doing that while Hailey talks to her wife downstairs.
We’ve madetwo bedside tables and are taking a five-minute break when Joe sets his can of Coke down. “Mum says you’re seeing Sean tomorrow.”
I choke on the mouthful of water I’d just taken, covering my mouth so I don’t spray it everywhere. If Hailey were here, I’d be glaring daggers at her, but she’s gone for a nap. “I didn’t realise she’d told you.” Not that I said she couldn’t, but I didn’t think it was something she’d share with him.
His cheeks pink and he studies his can. “I heard her talking to Char last night. She said you were meeting him for a walk in the morning and that she hopes you get to finish what you started at uni.”
Fuck.
I take a moment to drink my water, all the while silently cursing Hailey for throwing me under the bus, even if it was unintentional. Joe’s still focused on his drink, and I can’t get a handle on how he feels about this. He knows I’m bisexual. I’ve never hidden it. And I’ve had both boyfriends and girlfriends since Hailey and I split.
Joe has met a couple of the more serious ones.
I never thought he had a problem with either mine or Hailey’s sexuality, but the way he’s avoiding looking at me right now makes me nervous. “Joe? Is there something on your mind?”
His blush darkens and he lets out the heaviest sigh, which does nothing to calm my nerves. “I don’t want you to be on your own,” he mutters.
I stare at him, mouth falling open, because where the fuck has this come from? “What do you mean?” I ask softly.
He shrugs. “Mum has Char and all Char’s family up here. They’ll have the new baby too. I’ll be off to uni next year.” He glances up then, his big brown eyes full of sadness.And you’ll be on your own.He doesn’t say it, but he doesn’t need to.
I shuffle close enough to wrap an arm around his shoulders. He doesn’t shrug me off but leans into me a little instead. “I’m not lonely, Joe. I have plenty of friends, and Sam is only about half an hour’s drive away if I want to see family.” My parents died almost five years ago now, so Sam and I try to see each other as often as we can. Joe knows this, so I don’t understand his sudden concern.
He shrugs again. “It’s not the same though, is it?”
“The same as what?” I have a hunch what he’s getting at, but I’m hesitant to say it aloud in case I’m wrong and I embarrass the both of us.
“You and Mum looked all happy and stuff while we were doing the tree.” He draws his knees up and folds his arms on top of them. His next words are almost lost as he buries his face in the fabric of his jumper. “Mum has Char for stuff like that, but you don’t have anyone. I don’t want you to end up on your own.”
It takes a moment for his meaning to sink in, and then I don’t know whether to laugh or hug him tight.
He’s worried about me ending up old and alone.
I’m thirty-eight for fuck’s sake, hardly ready for the retirement home yet, but I guess that seems ancient when you’re seventeen. The fact that he’s worried about me being lonely tugs at my heart and I pull him closer, planting a kiss on the top of his head.
He grumbles but lets me.
And then I think back to his conversation opener. “Were you hoping that me and Sean would get together so I won’t be on my own?”
He looks up at me with a grimace and then I do laugh.
“Hey, you brought him up!”
“I just...” He sighs and I sit back, giving him space. “I don’t know. Maybe it’d be nice if you had someone like Mum has Char.” It looks as though this conversation is the last thing he wants to be having and he’s regretting ever mentioning it, but to his credit, he forges on. “You already seem to know him, so...”
