“It’s not what I want.” He felt awful for saying that as Tim went rigid in his arms, but it was the truth. Or at least it had been ten minutes ago. “I don’t want to become a shifter, and I don’t want to end up in a mate bond with… anyone. Nothing good can come from falling for you.”
Whatever Seb expected Tim to do in response, it wasn’t for him to press a soft kiss to the top of Seb’s head and wrap his arms around his back. Tim offering comfort after everything Seb just said only made Seb feel worse; guilt coursed through him as he selfishly relaxed into Tim’s embrace.
For the first time, he wished he wanted what Jared had with Nathan. He wished the mere thought of it didn’t terrify him. It would all be so easy then.
“Would you like to stay here, after all?” Tim whispered, his warm breath tickling Seb’s ear. “Or I can ask Alec to find someone else to—”
“No!” Seb dug his fingers into Tim’s biceps.
“No to which part?”
Seb swallowed hard. “Both. I want to go home—I need to.” He took a breath and looked up. “And I don’t want to do this with anyone else. I know that’s probably stupid and incredibly selfish of me, but—”
Tim covered Seb’s mouth with his hand. “We’ll take it slow. They might not be watching you that closely. We may only need to look the part, not… notactit.”
Not smear each other’s jizz all over our skin.
“Okay.” Seb could do that. He just needed a little space and time away from Tim to get his head together.
All this talk of boyfriends and jerking off, no wonder he was riled up. Who wouldn’t be? He took a step back, got his crutch in place, and nodded at Tim that he could let go of him. A quick glance down showed his T-shirt hid the outline of his semi. Tim must have felt it earlier, but there was nothing he could do about that. At least Tim hadn’t brought it up. “We’ll play it by ear, then?”
“Yeah. I think that’s best.” Tim’s voice had a gravelly edge to it, and every time he breathed in, his fingers flexed at his sides.
Seb was about to ask if he was okay, but Tim’s head snapped to the front door.
A second later it opened to Nathan’s amused voice. “Is it safe to come in? I can smell you two from the hallway.”
Tim closed his eyes, a small groan escaping. “Yeah, it’s fine. Come on in.”
Thank God Tim answered, because Seb was still reeling from the fact that Nathan could smell what they’d been up to. Christ, how had he forgotten? No wonder Tim was all rough-voiced and finger-flexy. Seb had probably smelled of arousal while he stood there saying that he didn’t want to get involved.
“Sorry,” he whispered, hoping it was quiet enough that Nathan wouldn’t hear.
Tim reached for Seb’s hand. “Don’t be. I’m not.”
Nathan appeared in the kitchen and glanced over to the living area. His gaze dropped to their joined hands and then back up. Eyebrows raised, he said, “Something you want to share?”
“No.” Seb replied at the same as Tim offered, “Alec wants us to pretend to be together.”
For fuck’s sake, can no one keep a secret in this pack?Seb turned to glare at Tim. “Really?”
Tim shrugged and let go of his hand. “They should know what’s going on.”
Nathan’s expression turned serious. He nodded. “Yes, we should.” Seb groaned, but Nathan had already turned away, walking towards his own bedroom door. He yanked it open. “Oh good, you’re up.”
A sheepish Jared wandered out, one hand running through his hair.
Seb narrowed his eyes. “How long have you been awake?” He glanced back at Tim, accusingly. Surely Tim would’ve said if he’d heard Jared up and about?
Tim raised his hands in front of himself. “Don’t look at me like that. Bedrooms are soundproofed, remember?”
“Oh.” Seb focused on Jared instead. “Well?”
Jared motioned over his shoulder with his thumb. “I saw Tim arrive on the monitor, and you two seemed okay, so I thought I’d give you some space.”
Tim cleared his throat and motioned to the sofa behind them. “If we all sit down, I’ll explain everything before I go.”
“Go?” Seb met his gaze. “Where are you going?” For whatever reason, the thought of Tim leaving made him edgy. “Surely we’ve got more things to discuss?”
