But then Tim was there, catching him in strong, sure arms and pulling him against his chest.
“Fuck,” Seb mumbled, his face now smooshed against Tim’s shoulder.
With his arms wrapped around Tim’s neck, his crutch hung limply from his hand, all his weight supported by Tim’s body. Tim’s very firm, lean, warm body, which Seb had no trouble feeling through the lightweight jumper Tim wore. He allowed himself a moment to indulge in being surrounded by all the strength and safety that Tim offered.
Since all that had happened with Jared and Nathan, Seb hadn’t been out much; he’d still felt out of sorts that his best friend was now bonded to a fucking shifter. The weeks had kind of slipped by until he couldn’t remember the last time he’d even kissed a guy, let alone have one hold him like Tim was. It felt good, reminded him of what he was missing out on, and when he breathed in deep, a sigh escaped him because Tim smelled good too.
Seb buried his face in the crook of Tim’s neck, chasing the smell until he realised what he was doing and abruptly stopped.
Slowly he pulled back to put a little space between them, but Tim didn’t let him go far. Seb’s heart pounded hard against his ribcage, each beat seeming so loud inside his head. Surely Tim could hear it. Almost afraid of what he might find, Seb waited a moment before lifting his head to meet Tim’s gaze.
He knew it was a mistake as soon as he did it.Oh fuck.
Dark blue eyes met his, boring into his soul with an intensity that made Seb’s breath catch. When was the last time someone had looked at him like that? Quite possibly never. It sent a rush of heat to his groin, lighting up a trail inside him.
Neither of them moved, their faces so close together that if Seb leaned forward just a few centimetres, they’d be kissing.
“Sebastian?”
His full name, spoken so reverently in Tim’s velvety soft voice, was all it took. It rolled off his tongue like a caress, and Seb felt himself inch closer until their lips brushed. “Yes,” he whispered, and he closed his eyes, kissing Tim like he’d wanted to from the start but had tried so hard not to.
All his doubts melted away with each slide of Tim’s tongue against his. Strong arms holding him tight kept his fears from surfacing, and each broken moan that escaped Tim as they kissed splintered Seb’s carefully constructed defences. His cock hardened, pushing against the constricting material of his shorts, and he nudged forward to find Tim in a similar state.
Somewhere deep in the back of his mind, Seb knew he needed to stop, needed to put an end to this before they went too far, but that voice got fainter the longer they kissed, until it became a distant hum. He clung to Tim’s shoulders, wanting everything in that moment.
When Tim eventually eased him back, both hands on his waist, still supporting him, Seb wasn’t anywhere near ready for it, but judging by the way he was breathing hard, it was just as well Tim had done it.
He groaned. “Shit, I’m sorry.”
Seb glanced up with a frown, met with a pained expression on Tim’s face. “What’s wrong?”
“I’ve been telling you how good my control is for the past hour or so, and then I kiss you the moment you get close even though I know you don’t want this.”
He moved to look away, but Seb grabbed his chin.
“Firstly, I kissed you.” He slid his hand into Tim’s hair, and for a second considered coaxing him into another kiss, but Tim’s fingers wrapped around his wrist, effectively holding him in place.
“And second?”
“I thought we just agreed to play pretend boyfriends. Doesn’t that involve kissing?”
Tim’s brow furrowed. “Yes, but there’s no one here we have to convince.”
The words doused the heat burning inside Seb, and he closed his eyes with a sigh. “Yeah, you’re right.”
Of course Tim would be confused with all the mixed signals Seb threw his way.
“Hey.” Tim squeezed his waist and gave him a tiny shake until Seb opened his eyes and looked at him. “I would be more than happy to kiss you whenever, you know that. But you said that wasn’t an option for us.”
“I know I did.”
“Has that changed?”
“No. Yes… maybe?” Seb let his head fall forward, hiding his face in Tim’s shoulder again. “I don’t know, okay? It’s a shit answer, and you don’t deserve being messed around like this, but I really don’t know how I feel at the minute.” He breathed deep and let it out in a long sigh. “I’m not sure I can pretend to be with you and not fall in love with you for real.”
God, that was so not what he’d intended to say, but now the words were out there, he couldn’t say they weren’t true. Liking Tim had never been the problem.
Tim held him close and let several seconds go by before he spoke. “Would that be such a bad thing?”
