The muted laughter from downstairs made it seem even quieter. At least no one had followed him up. He wasn’t in the mood to explain why he’d gone to bed first when he and Alex were, without fail, the last ones standing.
After moving his rucksack from his bed to the floor, Riley dug out pyjama bottoms and an old T-shirt, quickly got changed, and went to clean his teeth. The sooner he could feign sleep—because he doubted it’d be quick in coming tonight—the better.
Voices still filtered up from the living area as Riley came out of the bathroom and crept as silently as possible across the landing back to his bedroom.
“So.”
Riley jumped a foot in the air, spinning round to see Jake sitting on his bed, his back resting against the headboard. “Shit!” Riley put a hand on his chest, his heart still pounding.
Jake grinned at him. “Sit down, Ri.”
He walked over to his bed—only because he wanted to get in it, not because Jake told him to. “What’s up?” Whatever Jake thought he knew, Riley wasn’t going to help him out.
Jake’s eye-roll pretty much confirmed Riley’s suspicions. “What the fuck is going on with you two?”
“I don’t know what you mean. Me and Alex are fine.”
“Oh, so you knew who I was talking about, then?” Jake’s smile was unbearably smug.
Bollocks.Riley groaned in defeat and covered his face with his hands. “Come on, then, spit it out. Whatever nugget of advice you’ve got for me, let’s hear it.”
“If you’re trying to be subtle about how you feel about him, then you’re failing miserably.”
“Is that so.”
Jake sighed and jabbed a finger in the direction of the stairs. “What you just did down there… if the others had any doubts that you have a huge crush on him, then you just obliterated them with that little display of jealousy and spite.”
“I wasn’t jealous or spiteful.” But Jake’s raised eyebrow made Riley sink into his pillows in shame. “Fuck.”
He let out a long breath and wondered how everything had suddenly started to spiral out of his control.
Jake stood and came over to squeeze onto the bed beside him, nudging him until Riley moved over a little. “I notice you didn’t dispute the other part of that sentence.”
“What other—oh.” He glanced sideways to find Jack staring at him. “Is there any point at this stage?”
“No, not really.” Jake fiddled with the edge of his T-shirt, opening and closing his mouth until he finally decided to speak. “I wasn’t going to get involved, but it’s just painful to see.”
“Wow, thanks.”
“Why don’t you just tell him how you feel, Ri?”
Jake sat forward trying to meet his gaze, but Riley looked over at the door, not ready to see whatever expression was on his friend’s face right now.
Christ, he was tired of answering that question. Why couldn’t everyone just leave it alone? For what felt like the tenth time, he said, “Because he’s my best friend and I don’t ever want to lose that. If I tell him, then it’ll get all awkward between us.”
“What if he feels the same?” Jake tipped his head back and let it rest against the wall. “You know, a couple of years back I used to think Alex had it bad for you, but nothing ever came of it, so I assumed you didn’t feel the same. But now… you should definitely tell him.”
Riley laughed. The idea that Alex had ever fancied him was too fucking ridiculous. “One, he never liked me that way—I would have known—and two, you heard what he said downstairs. He doesn’t want anything serious, and I couldn’t handle casual. Not with him.”
“Jesus Christ. He only said that because you pissed him off with your comment about the barman. Which, I have to say, wasn’t your finest moment.”
“Yeah, I know.” Jake would probably understand better if he knew Riley had tried to tell Alex how he felt. Well, show him anyway. But no way was he sharing that little fiasco with anyone else. “I’ll apologise to him in the morning.”
“And—”
“No.” Riley shook his head. “I’m not telling him. I can’t. Now get off my bed so I can get some sleep.”
“Stubborn wanker,” Jake mumbled as he got up and headed to the door. He paused just before opening it. “You’re a fool if you don’t tell him, Ri.”
“So I’ve been told, many times already.”Maybe they all had a point.
“If you don’t want him to know, you need to get better at hiding it, because he must be blind not to see it.”
Or wilfully ignorant.Riley was growing to hate that phrase too; recently it popped into his mind so much where Alex was concerned. But that explanation seemed more likely by the day.
With a heavy heart, Riley scooted down under the quilt and closed his eyes.
