Dani won’t let me do that.
And it’s fucking killing me.
But I don’t want these guys to worry, so I shrug, trying to play it off. “Better now than further down the road, I guess. I’d never want to be with someone who was feeling pressured into a relationship.”
“What are you going to do?” Grady asks me.
I shake my head. “Nothing. Plans don’t change. I’m still heading down to Dallas. My family needs me right now, and… I guess I’ll just be driving down alone.”
“Our plans are flexible.” Blake looks at Grady, lightly touching his arm. “I mean, right? We could delay seeing your dad and Emma. They won’t mind, will they?”
Grady shakes his head. “I don’t think so.” He turns to me with raised eyebrows. “Do you want us to come with you?”
I swallow, appreciating the kind gesture but shaking my head. “No. I don’t want any of you to change your plans for me. I’ll be all right.” I nod, trying to sell this shit with a forced smile. “Don’t worry about me. You guys need to get on with your lives. Big adventures and all that shi… stuff.”
Zoey’s staring up at me with her big blue eyes, obviously sensing the tension in the room and worrying about it.
I wink at her, making my smile bigger. “I’m good, you guys. I’m just gonna…” I point up the stairs, the thought of trying to sitand eat breakfast with them way too much. “I’ve got some more packing to do.”
Walking me and my sad pieces of toast up the stairs, I take them two at a time, needing to get away from the happy family vibes in the dining room. They’ll probably end up talking about me and lamenting my sad situation. I feel bad for shitting on their post-graduation excitement, but it’s not like I asked for this.
As I wander into my room and gaze around the empty space, I can’t help feeling like I failed.
Sure, I got my degree.
I played four great years of college football.
I graduated.
And the one thing I had left to do was find myself a woman. Because the thought of leaving this place alone was kind of miserable.
Yet that’s exactly what’s happened.
Once again, I am a single man, looking ahead at a lonely future, because the only girl who’s made me fall doesn’t want me. Or can’t handle me or… whatever.
We’re not together.
And I’m fucking heartbroken.
CHAPTER 46
DANI
It’s my last shift at Offside.
I didn’t plan for it to happen like this, but after that awful night five days ago, I woke up knowing I had to make some immediate changes. I was losing the apartment, Jed and Tobin, Nix, and… I’d lost Tyrell.
You mean you pushed him away.
Snapping my eyes shut, I grip the edge of the counter, blocking that horrible memory from my mind. The look on his face when I told him I couldn’t do this anymore will haunt me forever. The dejected way he sat in his car, unmoving, after I walked into my apartment building.
Shit, shit, shit!
It’s only been five days, and I’m missing him with an ache that’s debilitating.
But I can’t go back on my resolve.
I’m not ready for a relationship.
