And I can’t stay in Nolan anymore.
As much as I don’t want to, I’m moving back home. Probably just for the summer, I’m not sure. But I need to reset, and what better place to do it than the safety of my old room.
Sure, it’s stuffed full of memories and heartache, but my childhood home also pulses with love. And it’ll be nice to hang out with my brother and niece again. He and his girlfriend moved into the converted downstairs floor of my parents’ house and have been living there since before Elsa was born. I think everyone keeps waiting for them to find their own place, but they just keep lingering.
It drives Dad crazy, but Mom loves it. She gets to see one of her grandbabies every single day. Although Elsa’s seven now, so hardly a grandbaby.
I’ll head there for a while and hang out, then maybe hit the road and catch up with my other siblings. I’m even toying with the idea of driving all the way to NYC. Jed and Tobin said I can visit anytime. Their new apartment has a pullout couch that I can use, and I just might take them up on that offer.
I’m pretty sure I’ll do anything not to think about what went down with Tyrell… that party… Atlas.
With a sigh, I finish wiping down the counter, trying not to think or feel anything as I pour drinks, uncap bottles, and send food orders to the kitchen.
It’s a Wednesday afternoon, and the place is practically empty. Students have emptied out, turning Nolan into a quiet summer town. I mean, there are still the summer school students here, so the place isn’t dead, but it’ll definitely be quiet for a few months.
Nix is sticking around.
I was really surprised by this. I thought she’d take advantage of the summer break and be off, but she’s too upset to make plans right now. She’s not depressed-upset. She’s livid, every decision clouded by this raging anger. It’s all hidden behind this mask of indifference, but her snarky comments and that look in her eye she gets when she doesn’t know we’re watching… yeah,she’s pissed… andhurt. Ricky betrayed her in the most horrible way, and I still wish I’d slapped him harder.
Poor Nix.
Thankfully, she’s managed to secure a place to live for the summer.
Her friend Charli lives with a bunch of guys at this house they call Basketball Base. It’s kind of a lame title, which she openly admits, and she doesn’t even know who started calling it that, but BB has six bedrooms and is about five blocks from campus. It’s usually overflowing with six-foot-plus giants, but it’s emptying out for the summer, and Charli has offered to let Nix move in while everyone is away.
She packed her stuff last night, and I’m pretty sure she’s moving in there right now.
I said my goodbyes to her this morning, as I’m planning on hitting the road as soon as my shift is done tonight. It means I won’t get back to Colorado Springs until midnight, but I don’t mind driving the dark, quiet roads. I just want to get home.
Jed and Tobin started their drive to New York two days ago, and I left my keys in our empty apartment this morning. My car is packed to the brim with my stuff, so it’s official.
My time in Nolan is over.
My insides tremble.
Reaching into my back pocket, I pull out the two concert tickets Jed and Tobin bought us. I seriously don’t know if I’ll make it back, although they made me promise I would.
I have to send Tyrell his ticket. I didn’t have the courage to drop it off at Football Frat. He’s leaving today or tomorrow, I think, so I would have had plenty of time, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Seeing him again might end me.
I’ve been missing him so badly, picking up my phone on countless occasions to call just so I can hear his voice.
But what good will that do?
I don’t want to give him false hope.
I don’t want to weaken my resolve.
I’m not ready.
I can’t put myself in a position like that again.
I can’t lose him.
You have lost him! You pushed him away!
Closing my eyes, I fight the burning in my nose and throat, forcing the emotions down.
