She’s blaming herself for his death?
Nah, that ain’t right.
I was the one who should have been there to protect him. I’m Black Jack.
She shouldn’t be carrying this shit.
Unless she…
No way.
I shake my head, answering the question for her before I even ask it. “You gave him the drugs?”
“No, of course not!” She looks horrified that I’d even think it.
“Then why are you blaming yourself? You didn’t do anything wrong.”
Her chin bunches, tears lining her lashes as her face buckles with pain. “I did, Ty. I…” She sniffs, and my stomach clenches into a ball so tight, it hurts. “We got into a big fight, and I stormed off. I left him there. And he was drunk and not thinking straight. If I’d been by his side, I never would have let him take those pills.”
They got in a fight?
I didn’t know about that part.
I sigh, hating that she’s holding herself responsible. Atlas could be an asshole when he’d had too much to drink.
I should have been there.
This wouldn’t have happened if I’d just fucking been there!
Dipping my chin, I softly murmur, “That’s not on you. I was the one who should have showed up. I told him I’d be there. And I wasn’t. I let him down.” My voice starts to shake, then break. “Dani, I let you down too. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“No, hey… don’t say that. I was his girlfriend. I shouldn’t have stormed off like that.Iwas the one who let him down.” Her voice cracks, and I look up in time to watch her slash a tear off her cheek—an angry, bitter swipe.
Shit, she hates herself for what she did, and I can’t… tolerate that. Because it’s not right. I’ll carry this burden. This guilt. But I don’t want her to bear an ounce of it, because…
She didn’t force those drugs down his throat.
Just like you didn’t.
Grady’s words swirl through my brain, and I suddenly get why he was trying to push so hard to make me see it.
Watching Dani wrestle with this remorse is killing me.
“Dani,” I whisper, shifting on the bed so I can reach her, touch her, rest my hand on her leg and beg her to understand.
“Don’t.” She shakes her head and holds up her hand. “I don’t deserve it. You weren’t there, Ty. You didn’t see. You didn’t hear what I said to him.” She whimpers, resting her forehead on her knees. “It was the last thing I said to him.”
I swallow, hating this, but wondering if she needs to confess before we’ll have any chance of moving on. Licking my lips, I reluctantly ask, “What did you say?”
She sniffs, her body shuddering, her voice muffled because she won’t look up. “I told him to go to hell.” She shudders again,and this heartbreaking sob punches out of her. “He was drunk and acting like an idiot. I was begging him to stop, but he was in one of his wild moods. You know how he could get sometimes.”
Yeah, I did. That’s why I was so good at playing bodyguard.
When his father just left like that… something inside him broke. It sparked this wild recklessness within him. He’d always been somebody who liked to push things, dance along that line and sometimes fling himself right over it. But after his dad left, that line became a transparent blur, and I had to step into its place. I had to be his line.
Until I moved to Nolan.
Until I got caught up with football.
