I know it would help her if I was crueler than I already am, and yet I find myself longing to brush her hair from her face when she’s having nightmares, to pull her in close and let her floral scent cascade over me like it once had. My comfort. My only home. Does she dream of her past? The horrible things she’s done because of her bloodline?
Mavestelli blood is thicker than most. Deep down I know she remembers, and the horrors are just begging to be released unto her. It takes everything in me to stand against the wall and watch her toss and turn fitfully at night.
I hate that I can’t comfort her. I hate that she doesn’t braid her hair anymore. I hate thatIdid this. It’s my fault.
Emery stays after the briefing is dismissed, lingering by the doors as she waits for Nolan to finish up his chat with Bridger and Erik.
Kayden wraps his arms behind his head in a stretch and grimaces. “Well, this sucks. Here I thought we’d get a badass mission like Warsaw was just assigned. Did you hear they’re being sent to Tokyo? I’m pissed they get all the dope city tasks while we’re sent into the goddamn tundra or desert every time.”
I grunt. “Just be glad that they don’t dispose of your whiny ass. I hear Riøt is bored to tears and needs a soldier to hunt down,” I chide, but he doesn’t find my joke funny at all.
“Yeah, right. If they are going to get an assignment for anyone, it’d be Thomas. What the fuck were you thinking speaking out like that?” Kayden scolds him.
Thomas only shrugs. “What’s the point in worrying about being assassinated when we’re going to get our asses handed to us on this escort mission?”
Jesus. He’s in a mood.
“We’ll be fine,” Gage joins the conversation, crossing his arms nervously. He’s relatively new compared to Thomas and me. We’re the only ones from the original Fury Squad. No one lasts very long on Fury. It’s a known fact. Even though Lieutenant Erik has been in the Dark Forces for at least several years, he’s only been temporarily leading this squad for six months due to the last sergeant being terminated on a mission. None of our prior sergeants last long, usually only half a year or up to two years. I stopped remembering their names.
I’m sure they’re going to find a replacement soon, and Erik will go back to his officer duties. He’s already completed his time as a squad sergeant. Normally he’s off working on bigger projects with Nolan and the captain.
“Did you read your mission details yet, Mori?” Thomas changes the subject.
He knows I haven’t. I don’t like to read over them until our superiors are out of watching distance. I’m already observed like a lab rat, I want some fucking peace when I go over mission plans. At least we get to make small changes to them, taking some liberty with our skills.
“I’ll review it later.” My voice is raspy as I pull out my Zippo lighter and spark up a cigarette. They give me a flat expression, but I nod for them to head out without me. “I’m going to hang back.”
“Of course you are,” Kayden snorts. Gage nudges him approvingly.
I ignore them, taking a long pull from my cigarette as I watch them leave. Emery is still standing by the door and our eyes meet. She doesn’t look away this time. She seems to be feeling fearless today, challenging me at every chance she can get. A smirk tugs at the corner of my mouth, but I swiftly kill it before placing the cigarette between my lips and walking up to her.
She visibly stiffens as I approach. She’s honestly too entertaining not to mess with.
Smoke curls in the air as ashes fall from my cigarette. I stop a foot away from her and lean against the table, facing her and not the three officers idly chatting behind me.
Her eyes are rimmed with a blush of red, making her look awfully tired. She’s had restless sleep and it wears on me too. Sometimes I wonder if her mind is trying to coax her, telling her that she needs to come back to me. One can only hope. I don’t know why else she’d find it in herself to try so hard to get to know me. It’s becoming impossible to ignore. I crave to give into my longing for her.
“What do you want?” she snaps, drawing my attention back to her.
I don’t bend to her level, so I look down on her through hooded eyes. “Must I want something? We’re partners, aren’t we?” I take another deep drag, letting the smoke burn deep into my lungs.
Emery studies me for a moment before saying in a lower voice, “Why do you resent me so much?”
My brow lifts. I didn’t expect her to say that.
“What makes you say that?” I let the pain that grows in my chest swallow me whole. How cruel this life is, that I took the only thing I cared about away from myself.
She huffs and shakes her head. “You ignore me every chance you get. You refuse to help me remember anything from the trials. You’re just…”
“An asshole?” I muse.
Her eyes narrow and a bit of her spirit flashes. I revel in it.
“Yeah.” She pointedly looks away as Erik and Bridger are saying their goodbyes.
“You shouldn’t take the drugs.” I catch her arm before she can walk over to Nolan.
Those big brown eyes flash up at me. “Why not? You did.”
