“I still can’t get over how good you look in suits.”
Logan’s smile was wolfish as he brushed a hand down my arm. “I missed you.”
He’d been gone on another away tour, and I’d watched every game. I was a glutton for punishment.
He glanced around, then slipped his hand into mine and tugged me toward the back hallway, the one that led to the staff break room and storage.
“Logan,” I whispered. “We can’t?—”
“We won’t be long.” He pushed open a small utility door and pulled me in with him. The second the door shut, his hands were on my waist, lifting me onto a low storage table. He pushed my already short skirt up and pressed in between my legs. His mouth met mine with a deep, aching hunger that sent shockwaves straight to my middle.
“I missed you,” he breathed. “Missed this. Missed?—”
I shivered, pulling him closer by the lapels of his suit jacket. “You can’t do this to me in public.”
“Then stop looking like that in public,” he whispered back, kissing down my jaw.
My breath stuttered. Maybe I didn’t have to have a conversation with him? Maybe things were fine the way they were. If I left it alone and didn’t overthink it, maybe we could?—
“Come over tonight.” He slid his hand up my thigh.
I sighed against his mouth. “I can’t. I have to wake up early for my final.”
“But you’re going home for Christmas.”
I nodded, trying to focus. I was leaving on the sixteenth. “I’ll be back on the twenty-sixth.” I’d thought about cutting my time short, but everyone was going to be home this year, and myparents had planned a huge staycation. Ten days were barely enough time to pack in all our favourites.
Logan’s hands pressed into my back. “Not enough time. We’ll only have what, not even two weeks?”
It was as if he’d injected ice water into my veins. “Logan—” He kissed me again, and I pulled back. “Logan, stop. I need to tell you something.”
He panted, pressing his forehead to mine. “What is it?”
My heart climbed into my throat. Was I going to do this? Was I going to tell him the truth? If I said these words, there was no way to take them back. But that’s what Shar meant, wasn’t it? Her heart living outside of her body? If I wasn’t willing to take the risk, then how could I expect Logan to?
“This isn’t working for me anymore, Logan.”
He frowned, pulling back an inch. “Are you . . . did I mix things up? Is this supposed to be our breakup?—”
“No, you didn’t mix anything up.” I put my hand on his cheek. “It’s not working for me because . . .” Every cell in my body screamed for me to stop there. To hop off the shelf and make a beeline back to the cheese and sausage. But then I’d be back to sitting at home watching the game and eating a pint of ice cream, drowning in worry and what ifs. I deserved better.
“I care about you,” I blurted. “I know this whole thing was supposed to be for show, and all of the physical stuff was purely educational, but it’s not fake for me anymore.” Once I opened up the dam, I couldn’t put the walls back up. “I miss you when I’m not there at your apartment. I think about you all the time. When something happens in the studio, the first person I want to tell is you. You make me laugh, and you make me feel . . . everything.” I sucked in a breath, my heart thrumming like a rabbit’s. “I don’t want to have a breakup date. I want this—you and me—to be real.”
Logan’s eyes were dark, his breathing slow and controlled. “I’d be good with that. We can keep things exactly as they are.”
I shook my head. “No. That’s the thing. I don’t want them exactly as they are.”
“What do you mean?”
My hands went cold. “I mean, I want this to be real, Logan. Not just the fun stuff. We’d need to talk about the things that aren’t working.”
He frowned. “What’s not working? I thought this was good for both of us.”
“No, it is, but there are some things we didn’t need to deal with when it was temporary.”
“Like what?” His voice held an edge, and I knew that look in his eye. It was the same one I’d seen when I pulled him aside near the bathrooms at the Palliser.
“Like the way you shut down and refuse to talk about things when they make you uncomfortable.”
