Gideon watched her, now so close she could feel the heat radiating from his body. “Second, because I wasn’t going to be Matt.”
Matt.Oscar.Megs thought about the corn maze. About what Oscar had said to her there. How his compliments became empty husks once she realized what he was working toward.
Gideon tugged her closer. “I didn’t come to your house because I wanted you to be flattered or because I hoped—” Gideon clenched his jaw. “I came and asked you to submit that audition because it was important to you. Important enough that you signed up for a class you didn’t need so you could use the studio.”
“That might’ve just been me being impulsive.”
“Maybe. But I happen to think that’s inspiring. I didn’t tell you how much I loved that you sat outside the admin building for almost an hour and a half when the door was locked. Just because there was an off-chance someone might see you there and open it. Or that you were willing to try my recommendations at Sammy’s even though it was probably two thousand calories and you can’t eat it without looking sloppy.”
“Did I look sloppy?”
“Focus, Megs. I didn’t say that it kills me when you bite on the end of your pen or laugh to yourself in the middle of my lecture when I know I didn’t do or say anything remotely funny. I didn’t mention how much I love that you’re kind to Erik, or that you weren’t always perfect at reading my assignment instructions, but somehow that led to better, more creative submissions. Or that you lit up every event during Matt’s auditions and that it killed me that you never agreed with something just because you thought it would make a good impression.”
Gideon paused, out of breath.
Megs’ chest felt like an overfilled tire about to pop. He noticed her. He thought about her.He liked things about her.“What about Alli?”
Gideon frowned. “What about Alli?”
“You seemed close.”She followed you around like a lost puppy and obviously isn’t over your non-breakup.
“You’ve said that before, and I’ve already—”
“Does she know?”
Gideon tucked a curl behind her ear and let his finger linger on her cheek. “She knows now.”
Megs nodded, her skin tingling from his touch. “Why are you telling me this?”
Gideon gave her a look of exasperation and gripped the mop handle so hard, she thought it might snap. “Because you’re not my student anymore. And you already turned in your audition, so you can’t quit.”
Megs’ lungs felt like they were vacuum sealed. “I’m not your student anymore,” she repeated. Truthfully, she hadn’t been his student for a few days now, but he hadn’t known that.
Gideon set the mop against the booth and trailed his fingers up her arm. “I know it’s shocking, but I don’t normally kiss women in parking lots.”
“Even if they’re missing a shoe?”
“Hardly ever.”
Megs breathed a laugh. “I don’t normally kiss professors in the back of their classrooms.”
“Even if they’re holding your charger hostage?”
Megs’ heart stuttered. “Hardly ever.”
Gideon slipped his other hand over her waist and pulled her close, squeezing out all the air between them.
Megs searched his eyes. “I'm a bit of a mess, Gideon. You’ve seen it first hand. I don’t know what I want to do, and I’m barely moving into my own place, which is a loft bedroom barely bigger than Harry Potter’s closet, and I don’t have any savings or—“
“Stop. IthoughtI knew what I wanted to do, I have a bigger place and savings and maybe a bit of a mess sounds like exactly what I need in my life right now. I’ve done the same thing every day for years, and it’s only made me half happy, remember?”
Megs took this in. That was the goal, wasn’t it? To commit to a life path that made sense, to be consistent, to give up what you wanted now so you could have what you wanted later. But how many people in her life had done that and were only half happy? How many people had checked the boxes and ended up wishing they could make a mess of things?
She wasn’t fooling herself. Living her life the way she had been wasn’t making her happy either. It felt good to have accomplished something. It felt good to be making better money and to have a skill beyond making lattes and wiping tables.
But more than that, it felt good to want something.To want someone.“I can’t trust this,” Megs whispered as she finally allowed herself to touch Gideon. She folded her arms around him, fanning her hands over his back. He felt exactly as she thought he would. Strong. Solid. It sent her stomach into a loop-de-loop.
“Trust what? Me?”
