And that only made my pain that much more acute.
“I really fucked this up, Frederick.”
“Yeah…I saw him, O. Crying in the restroom. A part of me feels like I shouldn’t tell you that.”
I eyed him peculiarly.
He said, “There’s a part of me that thinks I should use this as my opportunity.”
“Your opportunity?”
“Prince Owen might be as blind as he is conceited.” His smirk curled into his dimple. “You really think all these years I’ve stood by your side for the teasing and errands? The orgies have been great, but you didn’t pick up on the fact that it was you I was looking at more often than not?”
My mouth fell open as this news surprised me about as much as it could have.
“But I annoy the fuck out of you,” was all I could think to say.
“Yes, you do. You’re arrogant, selfish, a prick at times, and…unfortunately, despite what you would have everyone believe, a good guy.”
He sounded complimentary, but the expression on his face didn’t suggest he was trying to boost my ego. He appeared…sad. “I would love to take advantage of this opportunity. Get you while you’re down. Let you have your way with this ass the way I’ve been craving for so long. Instead, I’m gonna do something even worse…for me, that is—confess that you have a greedy friend who considered doing just that tonight.”
“What kind of bullshit is this?” I asked, thinking he had to be joking or giving me a hard time. After all these years, surely if he felt this way, it would have come up before.
“No bullshit, Owen. In fact, I’m being more honest than I have been in the past.”
“Then why tell me tonight?”
“Because I saw the way you looked at him on the dance floor. We all did. And now I know.”
“Know what?”
“The way I always wanted you to look at me.” He shook his head as his smirk pushed into his dimple even further. “The way I realize you can never look at me. I have to admit, in the beginning, I almost felt it was a competition, but tonight I think Lucas and I saw the same thing. That neither of us can compete with Keegan Kruse. I’ve always known when I’m bested, and as you well know, I’ve always been a magnificent loser. One has to be when they spend a great deal of time with you.”
“Frederick, if I ever said anything…or made you think there was a possibility that there might be something more than friendship here, then…”
“No, no. Please don’t make this any more embarrassing than it already is. You never did that much. We had our fun teasing, and I knew that’s where it ended. Until Keegan, I was expecting it to remain an unrequited crush. And then we both discovered the truth, it seems. And that truth never involved me. And I realize I’ve been acting pathetic and pining away for…I’m not even sure anymore. But for the first time in my life, I’m awake, and I’m wondering what the hell you’re doing fucking this up.”
I was stunned by Frederick’s confession, but equally puzzled by his interest in Keegan. He wasn’t wrong, though. It seemed to be obvious to everyone around me how head over heels I was for him, and how could I have hid it from one of the men in my life who knew me best?
“You ever heard the saying: ‘If you love someone, set them free’?”
His eyes narrowed. “The actual saying is Richard Bach’s, and it’s: ‘If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re yours; if they don’t, they never were.’”
“Well, he didn’t come back, did he?”
“It’s a little premature for that assessment.”
“Heshouldn’tcome back is the truth of it.”
“Why?”
“Because this life…it’s too much for anyone.”
“Well, I am your advisor, at least for now. I do plan on putting in my resignation after tonight, I assure you, because I think it’s time for me to—”
“Frederick, you don’t have to do that.”
“I really do. I can’t stick around, being the way I’ve been all these years, but…one last piece of advice: I’ve known you for a long time, and I know how you are. I want you to be careful and consider whether you’re doing this because you’re worried about Keegan, or whether you’re worried about having met the one person who might very well be the only person who can really hurt you.”
