“Poison? Dax, you didn’t bring any poison into my life. I made the decision to head down this path. You might have wanted me to take the deal, but I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to, and if you think back, I wasn’t thateasy.”
“Not with that, at least,” he said with awink.
I smiled, reflecting on all he’d given me in those parts where I was fairly easy, but we still had more important matters to discuss. “I made that decision because I thought I could do some good, and even after seeing that broadcast, I don’t regret it. I didn’t change, Dax. I’m still the same person I was before. I’m human, and I have my weaknesses, and yeah, all this attention amplifies them like you said it would, but it hasn’t destroyed me or my family or us. We’re as fucked up as we were before, and we’ll be as fucked up tomorrow and the next day. And hell, I’d say between the two of us, I have it pretty easy. I have to wake up worried that there’ll be a story about my dad on the news. You have to worry that you might wake up and I won’t be there the next day. I’d say you have a hell of a bigger decision in all this than me. And if you want to walk away, I getthat.”
He pondered that for a moment, and I was glad, because it wasn’t something I wanted him to think on lightly. It was as serious a consequence as there could be in any relationship, a burden I wouldn’t have wanted to push onanyone.
“If you do walk away, though,” I added, “you mind walking a little slow? I’m kind of handicapped at the moment, and I want to be able to catch you.” There was more desperation in my tone than I’d intended, but no matter how much I wanted to protect him, I didn’t want to lose himeither.
He chuckled, his forehead wrinkling, his eyes watering. “That’s the problem we’ve got, Jace. You already caughtme.”
Relief swelled in my chest. “Thank fucking God,” Imurmured.
He reached his hand out to me and ran his knuckles across my cheek. “It isn’t right that someone as beautiful as you can be even more beautiful on the inside, and knowing what you do hasn’t discouraged me for a second. Even a few hours without you felt excruciating. I kept telling myself that I just needed to let you go because I didn’t want to bring any more pain into your life or your family’s life. I can see why you’re worried about hurting other people, but do you think you would rather have lived without knowing Crawford than to have known him and losthim?
“Jace, when Keegan took that call and I saw his panic, for a second I couldn’t help but think the worst. It would have destroyed me, not just to have lost you, but to know you’d gone and I never got to tell you how much I care, how amazing you are, and how much you mean tome.”
I took his hand, still against my face, and gripped on. “So we’re in agreement that it’s better we stick around and hurt each other than to ever be apart?” I was trying to be cheeky, but I meant it too, and I could tell by his expression that he understood just how much truth there was behindit.
“Jace, to feel a moment of joy with you is worth all the pain I could ever endure.” His jaw was tense as he offered his words with such intensity, I could feel their uttersincerity.
I sat up and reach out, gripping the back of his head and drawing him close to me for a kiss. “Come here and give me some of that poison,” I said, pulling him, urging him onto the couch withme.
Dax took care to avoid my leg and rest his on either side of my hips before assaulting me with all the kisses I’d missed in the short time we’d beenapart.
I relished the sensation of his facial hair, rough against my face, his nose rubbing against mine, his tongue sliding past my lips—all those sensations I’d feared I might never get to experienceagain.
I ran one hand through his hair and the other up and down his back, and we claimed one another’s mouths, lapping each other up as much as wecould.
As I pulled away to catch my breath, I sighed, relief washing over me. “Okay, let’s not do this fake breakup shit again because it’s too much on mynerves.”
Dax burst into laughter, his eyes alight with enthusiasm. “Are you kidding? I never got to have makeup sex before, but I have a feeling it’s gonna beepic.”
“Two makeup-sex virgins. Sounds like a hot night to me,” I said before stealing another kiss, thankful as fuck the bedroom wasn’t far away. “This fucking leg,” Igroaned.
“Just another obstacle we’ll have to figure out along with a few others.” He sounded as undeterred by that inconvenience as he was by my line ofwork.
God, I loved thisman.
Epilogue
DAX
IpickedCarter up from his hotel and drove him intotown.
The organizers at Fever Fight offered Jace and his family and friends a tour of the campus so he could check out some of the renovations being made using his generous donation. Carter had eagerly invited himself along when he’d decided to come out and visit me in FeverFalls.
Over the past three months, I’d been steadily transitioning my job so that I could work primarily from Fever Falls instead of our offices in Hollywood. I had to travel around as much as always, with and without Jace, but the new situation allowed us to see each other plenty and make up for the times when we weren’t ableto.
“Congratulations to KlineSmart on being number one!” Carter exclaimed, throwing his hands over his head as he slid into the passengerseat.
The week before,BizNews, a major online industry insider publication, had named us number one in Trendiest Media PR Firms, which I imagined left Ayda and Fred seething over the number-twomention.
“Do you want to go ahead and do it?” Carterasked.
Because of our victory, we’d had a little present delivered to Freyda Inc.’s offices, one I didn’t want to follow up on until Carter and I could revel in the glorious pettinesstogether.
“Thank God I have them on Speed Dial,” Carter said as he retrieved his phone and placed them onspeaker.
