That was all I’d permit,though.
I took a deepbreath.
I could fucking get through this. I’d been living with this for so long already. It was just another day without Crawford, I remindedmyself.
But damned if it didn’t sting, and damned if I didn’t hate myself for dragging Dax into itall.
37
Dax
Icheckedwith the reception desk, asking where the men’s restroom was located. En route, I thought about how distressed Jace looked over the reveal about Crawford’sdeath.
That was the media’s game. It wasn’t newsworthy until it struck a nerve, and boy, did it ever strike one for theKruses.
It was apparent the news had rattled them, and for good reason. They’d seen the mention already, but having it pulled open and dissected under the guise of a human-interest piece, that was a whole otherballgame.
It wasn’t human interest—it wasintrusion.
I opened the door to the restroom, and as I rounded the corner, I discovered Serena with her arms around Keegan as hecried.
She held him close, whispering, “It’ll beokay.”
I froze inplace.
The sight didn’t just confuse me—it baffled the fuck out of me seeing Serena acting so maternal, so understanding, to a kid who wasn’t even hers. I was glad someone was there for Keegan, but at the same time, why the fuck did it have to beher?
I almost said something about her being in the men’s room, but stopped myself because clearly she was helping ease Keegan’sgrief.
I headed back out, my mind a swirl of conflicting thoughts and impressions as I struggled with what I just saw, the image of her nurturing Keegan through his pain superimposed with the image of the callous woman I so vividly remembered from my childhood, that shell of a person who never would have shown that sort of compassion for me in my moments ofpain.
I tightened my fist and tensed my jaw as my frustrationmounted.
I tried to reassure myself she was soothing Keegan in his time of need, and that was all that mattered, but it didn’t relieve me of my anger, which seemed to only escalate by thesecond.
I decided to grab myself another cup ofcoffee.
Everyone needed their space, and I needed a chance to fucking sort through my thoughts on everything that washappening.
Jace didn’t become any more talkative throughout the night, though Keegan and Nance had clearly calmed down. Beau, Ash, and Zed eventually all headed home, and Serena agreed to check on Mac while I kept watch with the Kruses, despite Jace assuring us that we could leave. None of us were willing to go, likely because we were all detecting the same concerning behavior he’d exhibited since the news about Crawford hadbroken.
Hours slipped by before I passed out in a chair beside Jace’sbed.
“Hey, man,” I heard, waking to Jace standing in the boot before me. “We’re breaking out ofhere.”
“Did the doctors say you couldgo?”
“Of course they said I could leave. I’m not actually going to ditch. Come on. I wanna gethome.”
He was acting slightly more like himself than before, but I could still feel his tension and uneasiness. Nance and Keegan helped me get him to the car, and Keegan seemed far more relaxed and jokey than when he’d first seen the story break. I tailed Nance’s car to Jace’s place, and we got out and headed into histownhouse.
Keegan played with Mac some, to cheer himself up, I thought, before he and Nance headed out to swing by her place. She said she’d pick up some things for dinner, thenreturn.
But quiet as Jace had continued to be, I couldn’t help but stay onedge.
He got up from the couch and headed to thekitchen.
“You need me to get you anything?” I asked, feeling hyperprotective. It was strange seeing him limping around in the boot, looking disoriented, not his usual easygoing self at all, and in the back of my mind, I kept thinking that this was all my goddamnedfault.
