I can see how far he’s come—we’vecome. Seems like only yesterday we were doing those same exercises and he was so tense and rigid and self-conscious about hissymptoms.
I remember when he revealed the truth about what his uncle did.“He was my friend.”Those words still haunt me to this day. To feel so betrayed…so violated. I can’t even imagine. Whenever I reflect on the instance, I get so pissed, I want to fucking hitsomething.
“Hey, boss man,” Sam says as he slips into my office. “You taking lunch orwhat?”
“Sure. You want to grab something at that new place that opened across thestreet?”
We head over to the new sandwich shop, settling in a corner booth and perusing the menu while we wait for the waiter to take our drinkorders.
“Salad would be the more responsible choice, but I love a burger,” Samsays.
“Then go with theburger.”
He lowers his menu, and his eyebrows pull together. “Easy for the guy who already has a man to be so liberal with what he eats, I guess. When was the last time you were even on adiet?”
“I don’t do diets. I’ve packed on some pounds since I’ve been in a relationship, but from what Eric tells me, it’s in all the rightplaces.”
“Yeah, it’s definitely in all the right places,” he assures me with an eye roll. “Some guys have all the luck, I swear. Meanwhile, I’m still hounding that guy Herman onGrindr.”
“One of those you enjoy playing these gameswith?”
“Yes, the ones you said weren’t the funkind.”
“I don’t want to tell you how to run your dating life, man, but move on. If someone isn’t head over heels for you, what’s thepoint?”
He shrugs. “Never had anyone who’s been that way with me. Not someone I liked, atleast.”
“Do I need to be reading you excerpts fromHe’s Just Not That IntoYou?”
“I’ve seen themovie.”
“I haven’t seen the movie or read the book, but I don’t really need to, to understand that seemingly basicmessage.”
He releases a long, exasperated sigh. “I—”
Before he has a chance to say what’s on his mind, our waiter arrives and takes our drink orders, and we go ahead and tell him what we’ll have for our meal so we can get back to the office on time. When the waiter heads off, I’m trying to remember where Sam and I left off when he gets right back into it without missing a beat: “I’mlonely.”
Silence.
I don’t know how to take his confession, other than to be totally thrown byit.
“Don’t you have friends you could just hang out with? You don’t have to be in a relationship to havecompany.”
He glances around the tabletop as though he’s searching for something on it rather than through his own thoughts. “Not really. When I moved here from Chicago, I got this great job pretty much straight away, and you know how it goes. And tricks on an app are a lot easier to manage than figuring out when I can meet up with people. Outside of thirty minutes to an hour…I have to be ready to be held up at the office all night in case Jack creates an emergencysituation.”
“But you have friends back inChicago?”
“From my college days, but they’ve all got their own lives now, and I never really go back there. It is what itis.”
He says that in totalresignation.
“It’s unacceptable is what it is,” I tell him. “What are your plans after worktoday?”
“Other than trying to hit Herman up again? I guess there’s this one guy I matched with onTinder.”
“Okay, that’s it. You’re hanging with me and mycrew.”
He perks up, and there’s this innocence in the way his eyebrows pop up, like I’ve offered him a surprise gift. “Where are yougoing?”
