It’s the most thoughtful thing he could have said, and so eloquently done. We’re so fucking lucky to have him in our lives. And as Jesse squeezes my hand and I turn to him, I know he feels the sameway.
After the dinner, the DJ gets going, and soon there’s dancing. Of course, Jesse and I use the opportunity to show off some of the things we’ve learned in tango class. When the floor opens for another few songs, we share some dances before another slow song starts up and Triciaapproaches.
“You mind letting a lady slip in here?” she asksJesse.
“The pleasure is all his, I’m sure,” he says, gracefully steppingaside.
I take her hand, and as we move together, I struggle to find that same special rhythm unique to Jesse andme.
“Not as impressive as Jesse’s and your performance,” she remarks. “I’m not that good, and out of practice from when we danced when we wereyounger.”
I enjoy the memory. “How are you holdingup?”
“Better these days.You?”
“Gettingthere.”
“All this time later, and I’m not sure I’d ever really get any closer to you than I was backthen.”
“I don’t let a lot of peopleclose.”
“No, but some, apparently.” Her gaze shifts to Jesse. “That day when you came to me and told me about what you and Jesse had done, I was very harsh, spending most of the time trying to defend my own actions more than chastise you for yours. More out of guilt than anythingelse.”
“Tricia…”
“No, Eric. I was in the wrong, trying to take out all the anger Ty’s had toward me about that…struggling to forgiveme.”
“He’s already forgivenyou.”
“Not for this. We’ve had our fights about that. And as hard as it has been for the two of you through the years, at the end of the day, as angry as he is with you, he’s always more so at me, because in some ways, he’ll always feel like I’m the reason for the tension. Tell me I’mwrong?”
“Icertainly didn’t make thingseasier.”
“It was a lot to put on you, having missed out on half hislife.”
“All his life,Tricia.”
She tilts her head, as though she doesn’t understand what Imean.
“I’d missed out on his entire life when I met him. Everything. No bottles, no first steps… For a man who wasn’t even interested in being a father, I was suddenly a father without the privilege of getting to ease my way into it. I was just there with a child, and I had to figure out how to make it work in my life. And he didn’t even seem to want that. Or I took it that way, and there was thisrift.”
A tear rushes down her cheek. “I’msorry.”
“Let’s just stop apologizing for shit. There are too many sorrys at this point, don’t you think? I know you had a hard time. It must have been difficult raising him on your own. I get that you were having a rough time, but it didn’t make it easy for me to come into the situation when Idid.”
“No, I wouldn’t think itwould.”
“You’re not a bad person. You didn’t mean to hurt anyone, but it doesn’t change the outcome, and here we are. We’re figuring it out. We’ll get there. Life was never easy to either of us, wasit?”
She shakes herhead.
“But we’ve made it this far, and we’ll keep on making it. How aboutthat?”
She laughs through her tear-stricken cringe as the song comes to an end, and she turns to Jesse, who’s laughing with hisfriends.
“I think I had my dance already, so you’d better get back to yourguy.”
She starts to pull away, but I take her hand. “Tricia.”
