He offers a playful wave and goofy face before heading out thedoor.
Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Those are what I need rightnow.
34
Eric
Deep breaths.
That’s what Ty keeps telling me andJesse.
It reminds me of all the goddamn processes I work on in therapy. I need to calm my assdown.
“Good luck,” Allison, my best woman, whispers to me, flashing a smile, before heading around the corner to meet up withTy.
I’m about to see Jesse again, only this time, we’ll be about to make the biggest commitment of ourlives.
After breaking up with Casey, I figured marriage wasn’t in the cards for me. I would just guard my heart, my soul. That was how I lived my life anyway…until I met JesseMorgan.
As the music starts, cueing Jesse’s and my grand entrance, I step around the corner and see him on the other side, stepping out of the doorway to thehouse.
I couldn’t keep from smiling if I tried, and I wonder if my grin looks as good on me as his looks on him. I can’t get to him fast enough but try to maintain my cool, and soon we’re side byside.
“I could kiss you, but I know we’re supposed to save it,” I tell him as I take his hand and we start down the aisletogether.
Outside the lake house—not far from the campsite where Jesse and I came to spend time together, where I pushed myself too quickly—in this moment, I feel that the timing is justright.
The two sides of the aisle are packed with those closest to us…fifty or sopeople.
An arbor of white roses is set up in front of the lake that shimmers in the afternoon light, and the officiant, my buddy Jax, is waiting for us. Allison and Ty stand closest to us, with Liam and the other Bastard Motherfuckers on my side and Jesse’s friends on his. I glance around the crowd, seeing all those supporting us, turning to watch us make our way to the real destination that extends so far beyond the distance it takes for us to make it to thearbor.
Connie’s misty-eyed. I’ve been privileged enough to reconnect with her since I made peace with the past at that restaurant not so long ago. It’s nice to see how all this work has paid off…has allowed me to reconnect with something that was once so very far away. Tricia is sitting beside her, the corner of her lips tugging upward, as though it’s a struggle for her to smile, but like she wants to be here for me too. Of all the people who didn’t need to come, who I could understand not wanting to come, she was at the top of the list, but her presence means somuch.
Jesse’s amazing family is here, and our mutual and individual friends. Everyone knows how we came together. There’s no pretense that this was or is an easy situation, but they’re here, and that’s whatmatters.
“It’s a long walk,” Jesse whispers tome.
“Keep smiling for thephotographers.”
He laughs. “Oh, the paparazzi, no!” hejokes.
“Stop making me want to kiss you more than I already do.” I cling to his hand tightly, and he grips mineback.
As we reach the arbor and stand before Jax, we turn to one another. Jesse’s still all smiles, and so am I. Jesse mentioned liking this smiling side of me better, and so doI.
As the officiant begins his opening, I can hardly hear him or the jokes the guests are laughing at because of how focused I am onJesse.
He’s a vision with those dark locks gelled up in the front, his sides cut a little shorter than usual, but in a way that’s so adorable. His cheeks are full with his smile, and that little goatee he’s been growing is a little longer because he knows I likeit.
“I love you,”I mouth to him, and he returns the endearment, blushing. Those red cheeks remind me of when he didn’t take care of his skin that day on the beach, when it was so burned it made me angry, which takes me back to seeing him for the first time. That first handshake, the spark between us, the fire…those eyes. As I behold them, I feel as though I could always see the real man he was, that there was something special about him beyond thechemistry.
I wonder if that’s true or if it’s a lie I tell myself to justify what we did. I guess I’ll never know, but all I have to accept is what I feelnow.
As I look over his shoulder, there stands my son, Jesse’s best man. He’s eyeing the back of Jesse’s head fondly, happy for his friend. He catches my gaze and offers awink.
“Thank you,”I mouth tohim.
His face quivers as his eyes mirror that same watery appearance it seems like everyone is wearingtoday.
